Yvonne

I'm just ME

2010-02-07T19:42:00.000+08:00

hhaha..its been 2 weeks i think..

i always make up in my mind to be consistent in blogging but I never keep up to it.

I have been working for 2 weeks now-what a great wonder! I don't think I've ever shown such discipline in my life. Lol. To tell the truth, I wanted to quit the very day I joined but I told myself that I must persevere for at least 1 week. Now, its 2 weeks alrdy! ahah..

If you think my job is easy, THINK AGAIN! haha..it isn't..its really tiring and mundane..but I am not here to complain abt it..Just really glad that God helped me to pull through 2 weeks alrdy!

I've been faced with some issues in my life -some relationship insecurities, questions, emotions...and I realized I really have to deal with them or if not it becomes a recurring problem rearing its ugly head again and again.
I think most youths go through these issues..and more often that not, its really an individual struggle..BUT I REALLY THANK GOD THAT WE HAVE HIM BY OUR SIDE!:)

I'm really trying to change my perspective and be more flexible...and I really wish people would begin to see beyond the surface through to me..I can be fierce and quite chiding but its really because I care. If I didn't, I would just shuttup annd go my way. My way of talking is just that way-its not often gentle or coated with sugar or honey..BUT I AM TOTALLY SINCERE!I really can't tolerate hypocrisy-its a pretence that you can't keep for long.

I know that my family and my friends expect me to be a certain way and I don't really fit into it. I am the way I am and I think I shldn't try to change my personality to try to make myself more desirable..I think God gave individuals their personalities and often, we are so CONTRASTING! hhhahah...I am not talking abt character-I think character has to do with values and morals and what you stand for
Personality is the more of the flavour of a person.

TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY- I really love you guys more than I express or show and I hope you'll will realise it one day.

2010-01-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

I found a route! LOL...shd i go?!hmm.....

2010-01-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

I am glad tht I did do some productive things today..haah..

But I still want a job and I am contemplating going all the way to Bt Timah for a $4 hr job...looks like the money might be spent on transport itself..haha

Why i shd go?

1) I think its fun and therapeutic
2) Its only until CNY
3) Something is better than nothing
4) I dont need to go thru interview and all that kinda thing
5) I will have my friend there

Why I shldnt?

1) Its so far! transport costs and time factor!
2) The pay is low..

OH LORD, if only I cld create my own complicated but short route to BT TIMAH..hmm..maybe I can

Yvonne's gonna be aunty and go sbstransit.com.sg..ahah

2010-01-19T15:51:00.001+08:00

I really need a job..

coz i feel completely unproductive staying at home and wasting my time away and eating but not burning the energy..haha

somehow or rather all my other friends have gotten a job..yep..so that adds to my guilt.

But I did try and its partly because I have constraints. I can only work for 1 month because of the STEP program in church that starts on the 23rd Feb.
That explains why I can't commit to most jobs.
+ I have no experience
+ I dont know Chinese

and I have been searching jobsites randomly applying for jobs although I know my measly 'resume' will not survive..But one can hope rite..ahah..at least I am trying

Anyways, besides all the job searching I managed to meet my bestIe Vaishnavi yesterday!

hAHA..and oh my, shes such a splitting image of her mother and she looks really pretty. I looked like a seriously overgrown kid next to her..ahah..GROSSLY OVERGROWN..
we talked about alot of stuff and always abt the fact that our mothers are SO SIMILAR and get angry at the next stuff..
and she was telling of how she planned not to get married or get married and not have children..LOL..I am more of a typical and wld rather opt for the family life...she said she wld want my children to call her '' aunty vaishnavi''...haha
BUT SHE HAS TO EAT HER WORDS ONE DAY WHEN SHE MEETS THE RIGHT ONE AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS..muahahah..

I never really thought so far but she has plans of retirement and travelling and living on an island. Even my cousin in Malaysia has plans abt retirement..

WHAT ABT ME?
lol..nothing..i dont even know what I want to do in university..and I am scared to make plans because I dont know what HIS plan is for me..what if it doesn't coincide? Then its gonna be an uphill task for me to let go of it..But there are some things that I want to do...some in the near future and some further aaway in time:-

1)Learn to play the piano..ya, i am that pathethic..I havent learn music..the only thing I know is the names of the black and white keys..haha

2)I want to act on stage..ahah.I have acted in school stuff but I think drama is a thing you can never get enough of. I have horrible stage fright but its a great adrenaline rush when I know that all eyes are on me..and its so cool because you get to be SOMEONE ELSE! no longer my boring self..ahah

3) I want to cut my own record or a single or sing somewhere( not that I am that great a singer)..haha...this is seriously far far far away frm reach but I wld like to find my own style in singing..haha.some pple sing airily and gently, some sing strong and sopranoish.I dont know how I wld sound in a CD..LOL..I doubt this will ever happen though..

4) I want to work with the poor and needy..in Africa, Indonesia, India-anywhere where they need people...Educate the young, provide medical service..I don't really know but I want to do whatever I can..

5) Besides acting, I also want to stage a play..haha..write my own script and create my own costumes..decide lighting and all the other stage stuff..ahah..this is prob gonna be highly impossible too..

6)I want to bring my family on a European tour at my expense-me, my mum and dad, and my bro and family if he is married by that time( I can't wait to have my own nieces and nephews!!!!:P)

7)I want to design clothes! I can't sew but I like to visualize clothes in my head and draw them out.

8) I want to go in a hot air balloon..Though I am really scared of heights, I think it wld be kinda fun..and the balloon better be colourful..

9) I want to finish reading the whole bible! haha..this is highly achievable within this year but I have to perrsevere.

10) Oh. Everyone has heard me say this at least a million times and I have never succeeded! LOL...coz i suck at consistency. DUH! I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT! lol..like alot and look like a total different person!

ya..so 10 things that I want to do.I probably embarassed myself with this post..don't laugh at me k..everyone has their childish whims:)

these are things that I want to do but there are so much more that I want to be..its different..there are some characteristics that I dont like in mysel and my personality has to change so that what I do would be fruitful..and that is gonna take a whole mountain of effort..so that wld be my foremost priority because I believe that a person's personality and mindset influences everything he or she does..

2010-01-17T00:26:00.000+08:00

I finally did what I meant to do!

There is still alot to do with my blog, but for now, I am quite satisfied..it looks a whole lot better than it did previously but it can do with improvement.

I gotta give a reply abt the Mission Trip tmrw..and I havent really made my mind up yet..
I think that I am still kinda immature and my parents are not convinced abt me being ready.
But the fact is that I am 19 this year, and its time I broadened my perespective and maybe this trip can be that thing that manages to shake me out of my closed-up reality and push me to another level of maturity.
Its probably gonna take mental, spiritual and PHYSICAL STRENGTH.
And I think I am currently incapable of heavy physical activity. Its not that I won't do it. I will try but I dont want to be a liability and slow others down.
Its just like a debate,

back and forth
to and against

Coz doing this prob means that I wldn't get to work and I have no idea how I am gonna raise funds for the mission trip.

I really need to hear a ''GO FOR IT'' from God right now. He probably thinks I shld grow up.HAHA. I want to go but my parents need to be convinced as well.

Ok, enough of that. I thought I shld blog abt something thats been happening beyond my own small world. Something that has affected people on a much larger and devastating scale-the Haiti earthquake.

No offence, but I have never heard of that place and so the first thing I wanted to know was where it actually is.
Haiti is essentially a Caribbean country around the Mexico area. And all of a sudden, you see Haiti everywhere along with shocking images of pple crushed under the ruins of buildings that collapsed due to the 7.0 magnitude earthquake on the 12th.

Its really jolting to see all the images of children and adults alike hurt and dead. I don't think anyone of those victims wld have ever guessed that they were going to die on that very day when they woke up. But death came and it swept in the thousands. No warning at all.
Its really terrible but I think my generation has been immunized by the many deaths and natural disasters we have had to witness in the past decade. And so, we think to ourselves that life has to go on.
Yes, it does but nothing guarantees that we have a better chance at keeping it compared to anyone else in the world.

So what I am saying is that we really shldn't take our lives for granted. Death may seem to be the easy way out of problems, sufferings, difficulties but it IS a PRIVILEDGE to keep on living. Why shld we waste it away doing worthless and pointless things?

OHMYGDNESS....I JUST CONVINCED MYSELF...I know what I want to do and I had no idea it wld come to this but it has.

a tribute not to 2009, but those who were in it with me

2009-12-31T12:31:00.000+08:00

wow..its the last day of the year alrdy! 09 is soon over...

this year has been REALLY fast and filled with challenges but I really thank God for His grace and mercy that has brought me through it all as always...

I also thank God for the friends and family He has put in my life, sticking with me through thick and thin...

He has definitely made the impossible possible in my life and even as I face 2010 which is gonna be a year closer to adulthood, I am apprehensive but I know I wldn't be entirely alone:)

So to everyone who was in my life in 2009:

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVEN IF YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE PPLE I DON'T LIKE- YOU HELPED TO MOULD ME..HAHAHA..AND TO THOSE I LOVE, I REALLY HOPE IN 2010, THAT I CAN BLESS YOU THE WAY YOU HAVE BLESSED ME:)

this year....

2009-12-27T18:55:00.000+08:00

wowwhee..it has been abt 6 months since i blogged..hahah
and the year is drawing to a close..so i think i shd just spend these last few posts of the year on reminiscing on some nice and not so nice stuff...but theres so much that I don't know where to start..sighs..

anyways, i shall start with yesterday..

Ammachi and the whole Malaysia gang came for a 'surprise' visit and caught us Singaporeans off guard...and after a long time, they finally saw my brother..the last time they all saw him was abt 10+ years ago i think..and so after the usual ''oh..so handsome'' and all that, my brother who had no particular conversation topic started to tease me at the lunch table at the restaurant we were at...oh dear..but its fine..i am SO used to it..hahah...and it dudnt really hurt when its frm your own brother..

anyways, i was supposed to direct two cars back home and i kinda went the correct route although i thought i ws wrong and panicked( i gotta learn to trust my instincts)...we made a wrong turn and i was like encouragin them to make illegal turns..haha...ohmy..dont know wat kind of driver i am going to turn out like..ahah

anyways, we made home(No, we didnt go all the way to mandai) in one piece and there were like 15 people in our hse..haha...SO FUN!..and everyone was gushing ovr Rover who finally managed to get some attention..ahahha..and as ashvini akka said, everyone decided to bless our toilets..haha

so they left arnd 8+ and my brother has made his uncle and aunty so proud..LOL..i think they were surprised..I am not..lol...he's my brother after all..haha

i have been looking through photos today..of graduation and jc 1 days and to think that 2 years have flown by SO SUPER DUPER QUICKLY! if u told me, that i wld grow to love my class and all that last year, i wld never have believed you..but today, i can say that I do and I miss each and every individual...we're meeting up tmrw and I can't wait to see everyone out of nerd mode( which is pretty much what they've been)..hahah

to tell the truth, currently I'm just trying to shake off my mind some things that have been happening..

people who know me, know that I am a person who is very easily emotionally disturbed...ya, i am sensitive..and this year, I've realised what a bother it can be to me...being this way..i hate that part of me sometimes..coz it puts me in all the unnecessary pain while the ones who caused it, get to go scot-free with no bearing on their conscience..
and so this year, i have to say I have asked many questions to God..more than I normally do..in actual fact, I used to be VERY unquestioning with God..

but things got harder, esp emotionally, and the same cycles recurring..and that meant i wasn't learning..i asked God, ''why me?' why not he or she? why do they get to get away with what they do but i have to bear all the consequences?''

today, i know for sure its because He loves me..tough love I wld say..haha...but there have been gentle moments too..and very patient ones when I realise that it wldnt take long for Him to stop giving me chances...but He's been good and the GENTLEST anyone cld EVER been with me..haha...
but i have totally been like a child throwing tantrums and bawling away..not being able to make any progress..stagnant..which is SO SCARY! hahah..

oh G0d..help me please..i want to shake off this attitude that so easily takes offences, that's so judgemental, insecure.... i so don't want to enter 2010 with this..its time i finally GREW UP...

i have definitely done things this year, that I've never done before..out of my comfort zone...praying hard to God for success..and God has blessed me with it and many more gifts..
but i feel put into a mould and pple have a certain impression of me but I'm not that way...i want to break out..i think there's more that I can do but pple dun give me the opportunity..sighs...

i need CHALLENGE, not just emotionally but with the abilities I have..hahah...i can't believe i just typed that out..LOL...maybe its staring at me in my face and I've been ignorant and oblivious...

2009-07-02T11:12:00.000+08:00

Yes...I know my blog is dead

and the holidays are over..yikes! and wat did i do? NOTHING!

thats Yvonne-sometimes all talk and no action:(

haiya...super unprepared and i have no choice rite..its all my fault anyways...but nvm..thank God its not A Levels yet..theres still time...if not I wld be SO SO SO dead..

and did i mention that maths totally totally dusnt like me?!

anyway besides all the time i wasted during June, the one thing that I enjoyed was YOUTH CAMP!

God really moved and He spoke so realistically to each and everyone of us -it was like a call to seek His face like never before!

And there was of course the wonderful company and games and fun!

And my roomies- Annette and Joyce who were really nice and accomodating...

and there was the washing of feet thingy-i seriously didn-t mind doing it..but when Ps Catherrine did it for me, I felt really touched..being an Indian, I was touched that despite being Chinese, and someone much older than me, she did that for me...and thats the love of God- it unites hearts of all different backgrounds...it makes me feel so reassured...

and this year there were SO MANY cameras going 'flash, flash, flash' everywhere...so there was a lot of camwhoring as well...

but beyond all the goodness we had in camp,I really hope that everyone sustains the fervency in them even after the camp..its so easy to be all out for God when you're always praising God with ur friends..but reality strikes and I think the really impt thing is to seek God even in all the business of life.....to never lose that yearning for Him..as long as we have that in our hearts , we will always go back to Him...

''Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ''

Phillippians 1 v6

;)

2009-06-01T14:19:00.000+08:00

I was depressed on Wednesday and I really felt I needed to go to church and so I went for prayer meeting! And I am glad I did! I can't be thankful enough to God coz He's ALWAYS there when I need Him, He doensn't get mood swings and the best of all He loves me no matter wat!!!!

Its such a relief you have someone there for you...

Moved in on Thursaday and sleeping alone for the 1st night was an experience..haha..I prayed really hard and faced the wall coz I was scared I might see things..haha..and I have this issue with the dark but so far its been fine and the bed is really comfy..

I really love my room! hahaa..if i can i shall post a photo of it soon..its so sunny and cheery and somehow everything came nicely together..but i think it needs more art so I think I'm gonna frame some work I've done and put it up..haha...any suggestions?

but first, there's so much unpacking to do!!! ahha...and so much cleaning...haiya...

its kinda redundant that we have holidays coz we have to like go back on the 1st week and then i have remedial during the 3rd week as well.. but I've alrdy determined in my mind that this isnt a holiday coz if not, I will just slack like mad!

sat nite was fun! we weent JJC and I am SO SO SO proud that the rappers got 2nd and the comedians got 1st! its such a great start...and the rappers appeared on news la!!!! ahahahaha

as for drama, i am proud of you'll too, with virtually no extra assistance, thnaks to ayidah and jee who edited the videos and made them into a short film..your great effort and time is much appreciated..

to the wonderful gals who acted, great job! Lol! We managed to actually get sumthing done despite all our laughing hiccups! haha...and special thanks to srija who opened her house up for us to shoot the film:) although our video wasnt shown, i now we enjoyed doing it and whoever got the priviledge of watching it wld have enjoyed doing so:)

yest, i went to watch Much Ado Abt Nothing at the Fort Canning Park with Nadia. It was a different experience sitting there for practically 3 hrs on the grnd but the weather was kinda favourable and it was nice to stare at the moon during the interval....

As for the play, it was good- I especially liked the lighting which achieved its purpose by setting the mood very well..but I am not sure if everyone wld have enjoyed it coz the English is super CHIM and it takes some time to understand wat they mean and plus, they talk really fast! ahaha...i really liked the female character though- strong, independent, playful...

andEVERYBODY HAD FOOOOOD! except both of us..haha...its ok..we cld concentrate better..haha....

and that was sunday...haaahah
and now i am gonna go search recipes for friday!!!!!!!:)))))

2009-05-19T11:05:00.000+08:00

this weekend was BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAH....

went arnd looking for furniture and ohmygosh, do u know how much a mattress can cost??! ahahah

on sat, we went to our hse to take measurements..i came there on my own so that i cld get used to the route..the addreswas kinda misleading and ifnot for memory, i wld have been lost..haha..i wanted to get down at a stop and alrdy tapped my card but the bus driver drove off!!!!!!!!!!!!and so i had to walk a rreally rrreally long way back...:( and even thre i wasnt sure where i was going..i managed to spot my block and started running..haha..so exciting u know and i went to the lift and anyhow pressed the 10th floor..haha...but i am living on the 7th floor... LOL...

after that we went and got lights, and went scouting for a furniture-managed to get a leaather sofa and so far all the furniture in the hse is kinda dark brown..LOL..

went to Samy's at dempsey road for dinner and oh my..the place is HAPPENING! hahha...aft that wanted to go ben and jerry's which was super packed and so i insisted on going inside this quaint looking, england-style 'jones grocer's store'..haha..and ended up sharing a brownie with Nadia...

reached home arnd 12am..was super tired la...

next day: went to church and went to a bedding shop before going to ikea...and wow..it was crowded..we werent sure of the route there and my bro was driving SO fast we didnt even have a chance to direct him..haha..Nadia managed to make use of the street directory and we somehw got there...

hadn't had lunch and so we grabbed hot dogs and ice creams..and my mum had curry puff..my dad who dusnt eat hotdog and so asked for a salmon sandwich..and i told my bro that i and my mum wld end up eating it..haha..why coz my father didnt want to continue eating after my bro teased him that the salmon was raw.. HAHAHAHA..... thaat was actually quite funny..

we bought a dining table that day and we reached home like aRnd 8pm...

and so as you can see, my weeekend was literally BURNT...

well..have i mentioned-IKEA bedding kinda sucks! LOL....

but i had fun! ahaha...lauging and jumping on beds!LOL

2009-05-14T19:03:00.000+08:00

VYSHOO VYSHOO.....

1. besides your lips, where's your favourite spot to be kissed?hehehe...my head..haha..it amkes me feel secure..
2. how did you feel when you woke up this morning?'' another long day....urrgghhh..''
3. who was the last person/people you took photo with? the only three who can camwhore this well hhaha..and who taught me all i know..aha...
4. would you consider yourself spoiled? pampered but not spoilt..not to that extent..
5. will you ever donate blood? YES YES! gonna do this year!
6. have you ever had a best friend who was of opposite sex?Yups...guys are good listeners until they change..haha
7. do you want someone to be dead?not currently...haha..oh! all those pple who use children for their advantage. eg. in slumdog millionaire..hhaa..okok..maybe not dead..but just whack them really REALLY hard...
8. what does your last text message say?''Do you even have me online? haha.''
9. what are you thinking right now?dinner..ahaha...
10. do you want someone to be with you right now?errr..my dad IS with me..well...i miss alot of pple but not really, not now anyway..awkward dun u think? i am in my pyjamas..hahah...
11. what was the time you went to bed last time?12am...was doing ionic equilibria and going mad in btwn..hahah
12. where did you buy the tee you're wearing now?its my mom's.. we got these t-shirts for our churchcamp in the year 1998.. long time ago so dun expect me to fit into mine..hahah..the tagline is' Arise and Shine in 99'..
13. is someone on your mind right now?ERR..ALOT OF PPLE? ahahhaha...
14. who was the last person(s) who text you?Samantha Aloysius who said she cant make it tmrw...

and for blind pple, like vysh, i shall increase my font size..haha

2009-05-14T18:38:00.000+08:00

''with Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm, smile.....''

i dunno why..but i remembered this song on the way home..and was singing it to Shu Ying..haha...and taking away words on my own like we did in sundayschool..LOL...

ohno...i have an issue..its with books..once i pick up one, i cant put it down..how i wishit was a textbook...but NO! its agatha christie...and i get so absorbed in it that i literallly put myself as the character and when i stop reading, i still feel all floaty..like i am stuck in that character....

so for now, i am an Elinor Carlisle who has a lot of money left by a recently dead aunty.. my boyfren broke up with me coz he suddenly fell in love with another grl..and all my dreams of young have been torn up- everything i wanted to do was because of him and now that he's no longer mine, there isn't anything i want....

haha..lol....wierd huh? ok..enuf playing..haha

back to MY OWN insignificant life.. haha..

i was at the interchange yest waiting for the bus when this malay lady asked me the time...and then she started talking to me -asked me if i wanted to study further, and abt being in the govt sector and not everyone wanting to beteachers....LOL

and i was thinking how wierd it was..coz this woman whom i have never known was just discussing my future with me..and was offering me indirect advice...ahahah

and then today morning, assemble- abt profession and interviews..and all that...

HAHAHA..IS THIS A SIGN!? oh gdness...

yes if u didnt know, i am one one of those youth who dont know wat they want to be...haha...yup..becoz i dun want to rush into something..i have had my fancies over the years-teacher, doctor, lawyer, counsellor, psychiatrist...even missionary! haha...yes- when was young thats what I really really wanted to be..i cld never imagine myself as anything else...

hhahaha...and now..i really dont know...but i feel i shd...haha...oh God, when do u plan on giving me a definite reply?

ahaha...dun wori, i will wait:)

2009-05-10T18:39:00.000+08:00

HAPPY MOMMYS' DAY!

this is a dedication to all mummies out there...no words can ever express the gratitude we owe you...

and to my amma:

hhaa..i think we both know we aren't perfect and sometimes the relationship between us has its rocky encounters, but i want to let you know that i love you!!! i accept you for who you are and it dusnt matter to me how other mums are coz only u can be my mum...

and so no matter what happens, we'll stick together and get through it..:)

yup and so yesterday, i followed my mum out..its been such a long time since i have and so i thot i shd...and we saw mums and daughters taking pictures together..and my mum was saying how we've never really taken pics together..

so this is my mIssion: teach my mum to camwhore...AHAHAHAHAHAHA

2009-05-09T12:54:00.000+08:00

GUESS WAT?!!!!!!!

MY COM IS WORKING!!!!!

hahaha....call it a miracle? oh gdness...so shocking..lol.. seriously.. i had given up on it coz it refused to switch on and today i just had this urge to try since the internet service was still running, and its fine!!! whooooohooooo! so cool rite?!

so now i can blog again..haha..and i have a little of my social life back again...haha..

WHIPPEEEEE!!!!

HAHA...BUT I WIL STILL STUDY K..DUN WORRY..;)

2009-05-07T09:34:00.000+08:00

hehehe..hello helloooo...LOL

just saw the pics on amirah's blog and ohmigosh i lokk SO FAT! hahah...esp the one with the small cow..lol..whos the cow and whos the human? hahah...gosh..i am like humiliating myself..watever..

but i had a great time with amirah, ayidah andof course vysh! miss u babe! and stay SUNNY ALWAYS!

i've realised that i dunno alot of pple i think i know..ahhaha...yep yep..as in i thought i knew them for who they were and they were genuine and stuff..but no, its not like that..

the truth is that PEOPLE CHANGE...even me..haha...i dun deny that...

but its ok...we are all humans i guess so i just gotta move on and keep my heart and mind open so that i wont end up all grumpy over these sort of things....

oh mann! i havent gotten anyhting for my mommy..HOW HOW? i need INSPIRATION!

* i try to forget but i cant..its like a jigsaw piece that has fitted and refuses to be removed...hahaha..oh no...

2009-04-14T15:21:00.000+08:00

hahah..i have a need to blog..lol...became depressed..lol...guess why? after reading pple's blogs! haha...lame right..

the blatant truth is that life is very depressing at the moment..haha...with school, with relations...

i dunno if i am overreacting or wat..but its like that feeling of being ignored sumtimes simply refuses to go away....i al like the invisible woman..and u think pple are nice and they wld be sensitive..but they aint..they see u as just sumone else...somebody non-significant...an unimportant fren...

and i hate the way things are happening to my family...such unreasonable behavioour that makes me sick! and i feel like shouting and yelling at those who hurt my parent's feelings...u call urselves relations? rubbish la...relations have no respect anymore..and i myself have lost all respect for u pple...i think if i get started, i wont be able to control myself....

i am dissapointed with my frens...a certain fren especially...its like i feel i dunt know these pple anymore...

and then i realise its so useless to expect anything frm human beings..the truth is i dun owe them a living and they dun owe me one...

but then, wats the use of relationships then?!

2009-02-26T13:51:00.000+08:00

Its been 2 weeks since I've blogged.

Yes, 2 weeks seems like a long time..but in actual fact they've flown by so fast!

haha..i can't believe i survived 2 weeks without going onto msn..haha..

WHY? coz my com crashed , yet again! and my internet isnt working anyway...errr...watever..maybe its for the better huh..i have ONE less distraction now..

hahah...i have actually been doing some work..but its like my brain is overloaded or something coz i get so tired easily..haha...and i fall asleep during lessons...

i remember myself pinching Haslina(my table partner in sec 3) to wake her up..and now, i suffer her syndrome..haha..wat goes arnd comes arnd huh..

but its ok..she did very well..so maybe thats the secret to her success-sleeping in class so that she's forced to read up at home..LOL

and this will be my last desperate attempt to keep my blog updated for some time...haha...so all those who read this blog, sorry k...haha...

(not as if my entries were intersting anyway..haha...)

2009-02-12T22:25:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i have so many thoughts on my mind that when i want to blog them, they all float away...

but seriosuly, sometimes i feel that i think too much...i reflect alot...haha...on the way to school, on the way back home..in the car with parents, even when i watch TV, my thoughts drift away..

but when i blog, i dunno where all the thoughts fly and i cant seem to catch ALL of them..hmmm...

so for now, its empty..let me think..hahah

well, its been almost one week since I've checked my mail and stuff...been exhausted entirely and seriously I think I can almost hear my body groan for rest..feel like some old woman with arthritis coz i have muscle aches here and there and i keep having pulls in my back and neck area...haha....i have the body of a 60 year old! LOL

i aint so sure abt my brain either..hahah

valentines day is in 2 days time and i feel kinda sad that i cant meet my best frens..

yes, i miss u guys like nuts-vaishnavi, vithiiya and a whoe lot of other pple....:(

and i dun have anyone else special to spend with either..haha..ok, maybe thats actually a blessing..LOL.

so lame rite? i hhave parents next to me to love but i look for other pple...

i was telling someone that day that my mind is very rational and practical..but my heart is very strong-willed...so even when i know somehting causes me pain frm past experience, my heart always drives me to do it again...and its no point pple advicing me coz i alrdy know...

theres always been an inner struggle within me...and i think it happens for everyone-between the mind and the heart..

and recently my heart's been yearning for the stage-to recieve the adrenaline rush that i get when i go on stage to perform...and i know this shdnt be my priority coz its not like as if i am getting As or something...

yep..so sometimes i really wish my heart wldnt want so much...

and i always want to be out of the ordinary-unique...why?

coz i hate it that pple sometimes underestimate me...they look at me and they see a chubby, gullible and perhaps very ordindary gurl..someone who doesnt seem worth paying attention to..and thats when i want to shock them! haha...i want to show them who i am-that i aint a pushover, that i aint quiet, that i actually can do alot of stuff, that i aint a nerd..BLA BLA...

coz sumtimes pple dun really pay attention to me when i talk..even within relatives..they think i am the still the small, innocent, super obedient gurl who dusnt really have anything much to say..

WRONNG! just becoz i am quiet dusnt mean i dun have opinions..i just think that theres a time and place to say stuff...and i dun want to waste my breath and saliva if everybody else is talking and nobody is listening..why do i want to add into the din?

but i have ALOT of opinions-even political..haha...

so i think i shd suprise myself now-by doing really well...yea..and do something really different...

but i am thankful that my parents listne me out..haha...if not i might just go mad..ahah...

mann! i think rite..i am just waiting for something exciting to happen in my life...dunno wat it is but i am WAITING..

hahah...and this is when my mind goes blank...

2009-02-05T19:42:00.000+08:00

today started with j1s meet j2s session...s10 and s11 combined to meet og11..and we were totally bombarded with so much food..haha..crazy..i felt like a pig though i wasnt eating muvh..haha...and at one time, i wld have to pass 3-4 items of food in the opposite direction..haha..

after that was chem lecture which had a fun end coz the teacher showed us how the denaturation of protein structure leads to real life stuff...bla bla..so he made unbaked meringues and a chicken liver turn gross..hhaha..

after that was principal meet christians session so i went to help, and i think it was a good turnout frm the j1 cohort..

life concert is coming up and i want to sing in it! so i gtg for auditions next week..hope i get thru it!

parents picked me up after sch and i went popular at bras basah to get the pencilcase i wanted...asked the lady and she said dun have..was damn disappointed...went looking arnd for other stuff when amma suddenly shouted my name and waved something at me..

so i went to see and she had found what i wanted!haha..and she was like' this is what u went searching for? nothing great wat..haha'

but i was really happy! and had it not been for my mother, i wldnt have found that thing...

its such a small thing but my mother has always emphasized the importance oof persistence and going all out for something..its not enough t want something..the effort has to be put in to attain that goal..and this is something i have yet to learn..

came home and when i was eating, i got a calll...

i was supposed to be at practice in church for tmrw's singing! and it totally slipped my mind!

haha...and u know wat i did..i panicked..lol..seriously, went totally nuts. it was a genuine unintentional mistake but it really made me feel SO SO SO bad..and it still does..

and i realised something..i am so afraid of making mistakes, of turning pple off, too concerned abt what others think of me..haha..looks i got ALOT to deal with...haha...

2009-02-04T21:07:00.000+08:00

ok! i have alot to blog abt! aha...hope i dun miss out stuff...but i think i will..

monday was when i realised that te sch canteen is really small..mann! with the influx of all the j1s, it was like packed! and i didnt bother abt queuing for food la..haha..ok so this year j1s are kinda nerdy..LOL...but i think rite, that will change very vvery soon..yep..since its SAJC! hhaha...

and that night, decided to call ayidah to ask her how her day was..and our conversation stretched partly because i didnt understand wat she was saying with her retainers and all..haha..i had to ask her to spell stufff...LOL...and i was sharing how i feel so low sumtimes..and i was glad that she reminded me that although i dun get stuff that i deserve, God always sees everything tat I do..

and then I guess i realised what it means to rely on God's strenght..

haha..

expected: do good stuff and expect something in return

exceptional: do everything for God so that I wont be concerned whether pple recgonise it or not:)

tuesday was ok...cant rmmb wat happened...oh ya! chem remedial! haha..sat with the 'indian gang'-my frens frm s09 and s10..and i and mai ended up chatting..LOL...oopsy..

haha..and i was telling her that it was freaky that we were so smilar in character..and she said she was telling that to sumone else too..why are we similar? mann..see us together, u will know why..

we get angry the same way, laugh alot and at each other, can complete each others' sentences...and we have like telephatic thinking..haha..but we have differences also la..if not how will we able to get along together? ahah...

today:

didnt do pe coz i had a cold...so i took timing for my class, 1.6km..yep.and i think s11 ran quite well! :)..then i was watching 2 classes play when i and vivian(didnt take pe also) realised that our class was playing angst s04. so we immediately went there to cheer my class on...hhaa..and i cldnt shut up la..had to cheer every single person that got the ball..LOL..but was it just mere coincidence that they started scoring after i was there? ahaah...encouragement works, u knwo..haha..but i think one of the guys in the class was mimicking me..err..watever..haha..not disturbed..haha...

then during moral ed, mrs tan gave us back our stock taking lists-and my goals for this year were to lose weight(as usual), do really well and be more faithful in my daily devotion..and so mrs tan wrote comments for everyone at the bottom of the paper and this is exactly wat she wrote for me..:

'Yes, you are my GP Rep. So you must work harder. Ok? You can be beautiful inside and those who are discerning will see it.'

that is SO SWEET!!!!! MRS TAN, U TOTALLY MADE MY DAY! :)))))))

todays 'ics meeting' was hilarious la..laughing at the j1s, at the way mr raja was trying to catcht them...haha...and then he wanted to drink tea, so he bought me one as well to accompany him coz nobody else drinks tea..

so we went home after that, and nish took 142 with me to toa payh..it was nice coz i got to talk to her after a long time..i mean abt our pri sch and all that..haha..cant beleive that i, suria and nishanthi are frm the same primary and secondary school and now jc!

haha..yepyep...

today, i fianlly decided to go popular to buy the cute boxy pencilcase i saw clarisa have..and i searched and searched but cldnt find..so i asked someone there and she said it had finished and that there was alot even yesterday..damn! my heart sank right to my toes la! u know, that feeling like as if u are so jinxed that u just missed sumthing u really want..haha..lame rite...but i really wanted tat thing..haiya..cant be helped i guess..:(

this is to you...

2009-01-31T12:45:00.000+08:00

ohmy! i didnt know u were leaving until like now...

i havent known u for that long actually..and it was a wierd relationship actually with the interference of others..but after the mess was cleared up, i got a best fren, a brother...

u have been there for me when i needed someone to rant to, shown me genuine concern, made me laugh, tolerated ALL my insults and never gotten angry...and just because u wont be so close to me now(in terms of distance), it doesnt mean anything will change...

so dun forget me k! hahaha...u will always be the brother easiest to bully and i will always be ur sister sumi, k..haha..though i really really hate that name..hahah..

and dun wori abt other stuff..everything has its time...if things are meant to be, they will happen..

so i really hope u become really really successful in watever u do and this is is a really really belated birthday wish to you!

i wish you all the happiness in the world and I pray very hard that you'll find the best friend in God I found..(u won't understand this now)

i will be praying for u bro...:)

2009-01-31T11:45:00.000+08:00

i feel lazy to blog..haha

the trip to msia was ok...i did get a break..didnt do anything at all..haha

but i fell sick and so on thursaday, i didnt go to sch and i totally forgot that vysh was coming to sch that day! and now i feel so empty and sad inside that i didnt get to tell her bye! oh mann! but i will definitely visit u in jb..my mum gave me the green light alrdy..hahah

i had a much needed session with God that day after quite a long time..unloading all my feelings and i realised how disappointed i was with life ..with so many things in life coz i focused too much on them...but i guess i gotta learn to realy really let go and just do what I can to make things better....

Valentine's day is coming up and I am a little excited though I don't have any reason to be...hhahah...

and mann! i think the only thing i can be obsessed with rite now is my sch boooks coz my results make me puke blood..seriously...its like i am reaching a whole new low...but I just gotta really smack myself and plunge in those books again...

so after this, i am going to study:)

dancing queen....

2009-01-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

this week was fast..and i have been so deprived of internet that i have been experiencing withdrawal symptoms..hahah

it seemed like just yest that i saw ammachi, thatha, aunty mani, kanna maama,(my aunty, cousin, niece)..but its been acutally almost a week ago! ohmy!

haha..so this week's challenge was the dance performance today..

and really, one week ago, i felt like giving up...but ever since then, i have been practising the sequence of steps in my head so often that i remembered everything at the next practice! and it was such a great improvement!:)

so we practised and practised and came home late and if not for the funny times i had with the other dancers, i might have just lost energy and dropped..hahha...

yeap. on wed, i jogged 4 rounds for pe and then i started limpin-panic! how to dance like that?!

ahahah...yep yep..but we did the performance today and everthing went well-the costumes, the steps, formations and the crowd was the most supportive and enthusiastic crowd ever!!!!!it really kept me going for that 5 long minutes on stage...and we even had a standing ovation of 3 guys from maithilli's class after it..but i wasnt wearing spectacles and was so blind..haha...didnt even notice..but really, i felt SO enerrgised when i heard my name being screamed..and the many cheers during the dance itself..hahah...

haha..and i think pple saw a whole new me! hahah...LOL...my classmate was like 'i never knew you could dance so well..''haha...yep, i dun have the dancer face but u cant judge a book by its cover rite? the same way supposedly lanky and graceful pple cant really dance..hahah..but anyway, i have been dancing at functons since young-seriously! doing random moves to random music at wedding as a really young child..haha..all the elders in the family remember me as the kid who danced at this wedding or that function when they see me after many years....hahha

i wanna thank all my dance mates...ayidah and nishanthi-for choreographing most of the dance and polishing up our dance moves and formations..fiona for staying and dancing with us eventhough u cld have quit if u really wanted to..maithilli for making me laugh with your big open mouth..hhaha..and for being my twin in thinking ..haha..and everyone who encouraged me to dance and convinced me that my size wont make a matter on stage...

and my parents. my mum didnt really like it but she still allowed me la...she didnt stop me and somehow shes been always there...and my dad too for giving that silent support..

and of course, God! i realised something in the nick of time before the dance..that althoguht this was aindian dance performance, i cld still dedicate it to the Lord and so I called the girls and we held hands while I prayed..and I sincerely believe it was God who brought everything into place...thank you so much Jesus! it makes me smile when i think that You look into my EVERY need....

so Yvonne is happy and high..haha..and Yvonne is kinda sad that the dance is over but i m sure we can still hang out:))

and Yvonne got an hongbao from someone who said somtheing else that touhed my heart and just reminded me of God's favour in my life:)

tmrw, i am going to msia and will be abck on tue..to see my relatives in msia...so mia again...

i am so tired but well, life is fun! haha...i cant believe I am saying this..hahaha

2009-01-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

you know what, i dont think i ever knew you..

i am glad i have seen things in a clearer light..haha..though it hurts, i will just move on..

i think i have other things and other stuff to worry about...

2009-01-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

the week is finally over! mann! its a wonder i made it through...

today was kinda bad..and i was feeling so betrayed and discouraged when Sashi shared abt the Psalm 23. wow...the fact that David had such a confidence in the Lord even when he was going to be defeated..even when he felt like giving up...

and this wk, i definitely felt like giving up- on the situation arnd me, the people i love and cherish, my studies and even on myself..

but its like God is telling me to hold on and although its so tough and i feel that nobody is on my side, I will listen to Him.

2009-01-13T20:13:00.000+08:00

ok! Yvonne is having a really tough time adjusting to sch...

its so difficult, without my cliqque and the pressure...bla bla..mann! its really really challenging!

the only comfort is that everyones going thru the same thing..

things can never be the same again can they?

haha

today, we went shopping for the dance costume at tekka.and seriously someone pissed me off to the max! so Yvonne lost her patience and became really subdued..

haha, yep..thats my new way of being angry-shutting up and being indifferent abt stuff...

haha..so anyway, we cldnt tailor our costumes coz of our budget and so we gotta make do...hehheh.haiz..watever..just gonna dance and forget it.

amma and appa came to pick me up...thank gdnes for them..my legs were dying and after i sat down my body was aching all over that i cldnt get up...feel like some old woman..hahah

gotta get back to work...yep..sch is a harder taskmaster than i thought..

God help me...i am telling you if i get out of this in one piece, you're gonna see a whole different Yvonne.

2009-01-11T19:29:00.000+08:00

BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!

ok...it will be an understatement if i say i am nervous..haha..i am SUPER NERVOUS! i have no idea why..LOL

yeah..and its such a wonder that things can change so much in the span of a year...gonna misss my babes so so much! i will never forget the friendship they offered me...

hmmm...today 5pm service's message was really good..haha...yeah..but other stuff spoilt my mood..as usuall..

sometimes i really wish i was dumb, coz my mouth gets me into trouble..i dont mean anything bad and i actually am saying the right thing, but i still get the shit..and i am SO SO SO sick and tired of it..

and theres this someone who made her dislike for me very apparent today..i dun rmb doing anything to her coz i dun even talk to her much to have the opportunity to offend her...so wahats ur prob?

and just because someone dusnt like me or i cant get along with someoen, that definitely dunst give me the right to totally ignore the good in that person and jusdge the person rite? mann! sometimes although u do the right stuff, u get bombarded more! aahh..watever!

so to all JC2 students! wish u all the best for the year..its gonna be fast and tough but lets rely on God's strength k..haha

Lamentations 3v22-24:

God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning.

How great your faithfulness!

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).

He's all I've got left.

haha..this is all i have to say..

2009-01-07T21:58:00.000+08:00

hehehehhehehe....

tried studying chem today and glad i finally understood sumthing! haha..

during chem lectures, i have become very good at ignoring everything the teacher says coz she goes on like an android with nothing else to talk abt...but actually, its just the same thing ver and over again.. and last year, i just gave up..not on life-but on chem! haha...yup, i did..and thats why my results were like crap! haha..so this year Yvonne resolves to challenge herself and the villain in her life called chem by mastering all those disgusting formulas and throwing them back at the teachers during the exams..haha

okies...i am going a little crazy...wat to do...schwork has that effect on me...

and i want a technological revamp in my life-a laptop, new handphone, get my ipod working again( yup, i wanna slap myslef for spoiling it)...

and today i almost gave up on dancing..so sorry my dance partners, but seriously...my mum wasnt making things easy for me..i mean i know shes concerned but sometimes i wish she wld let me make decisions and try things for myself, besides just choosing the colour for my room...hahah..but i guess its becoz shes always thot abt me before ever making a decision..sighs...so i love you amma, though u make me so angry sumtimes..haha...the way i drive u crazy too..heheh

i have come to know that my testimony on that 31st nite has actualy touched quite a few pple...and sincerely, thats been encourraging..because i know for sure now that watever happened to me just hours before that service was a spiritual attack aimed at distracting and disappointing me...so my mind wld go astray and i wld lose focus on God and wat He's done..

but that nite, i learnt one thing-to praise God no matter what..which is really tough..but when you do it, it totally changes your perspective on life...

haha..but now, theres a new challenge-to wait for things i dun get and sometimes cope with NEVER getting sumthing i want...

and mann! that IS TOUGH! bleah!

and i am waitng for other miracles to happen...i am tellling you when it happens, i wont be able to believe it..but i know it will happen coz its in God's will...and on that day, I am gonna scream and shout for joy, cry, jump like some mad thing and hug pple randomly!

haha...that sounds like madness...HAH...SO LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THAT!

p.s: if anybody is bored enuf, wld u bother looking for an appropriate blogskin for me and help me to revamp my blog?! ahaha....i will be grateful enuf to kiss you..but if thats not a favourable gesture of gratitude, i am sure a ''thank you'' will do..hhaha

2009-01-05T19:07:00.001+08:00

ok..i think my blog really needs an uplift....haha..or either i have a short span of liking towards a blogskin

mann! it looks so amateur..and lame..*sighs*..it needs to exude more glamour! haha...

anyways, went out with haslina and vathany and deepthi today..mann! i miss all the times we spent laughing together and at each other in the past...we didnt do much today but we did laugh alot..i was like some lunatic with haslina..hahah..we WERE table partners u know..

and she was supposed to give us keychains from australia, but she forgot! so like her la! haha...

yups...funny day and FUNNY day...for another reason..

i was feeling so sick on saturday with my stomach feeling queasy and i felt like i might puke at anytime...but i stilll dragged myslef to play touch rugby and was practically feeding myself on isotonic drinks..haha

it was fun, but really hot..and so unglam in shorts..haha...on the way home, i was so afraid i might just faint..thank God for bringign me back home safely...

popped a panadol and went to sleep...nothing was on the next morning except a regular church service after a long time..so aft that, went home and had a nap again...

in the evening, we went over to the new hse to check wat stuff to be changed..

and yup, i am MOVING HSE...to BUANGKOK GREEN...which is at hougang...even further frm sch and church...

the year has started off worse than i expected..hahaa...seriously..its like at a point of climax now....its like everything arnd me is falling apart...gdness, Gods really testing me! haha...

but i think everyone has their own strugges and I have to get on with life..and beyond everything, do the right thing..which is the hardest..haha...

its really really hard to do the right thing and not give into your emotions despite the fact that u might have a reason to react otherwise..hahaa....

but i gotta do it-not for man, but for God

coz He's done so much for me and I want to honour Him...thru my actions..i dont want to be the hypocrite many pple today call Christians..

and dun worry pple, i aint emo..haha..i am still laughing..

happy 2009!

2009-01-02T13:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2009 EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!

SO 2008 is over and its finally 2009!

a new beginning, new aspirations, new things...

haha....and this year, i resolve not to let what others say to affect me..enough of that..and even on the last day of 2008, the one i loved the most hurt me and said that he/she dusn't trust me..

but whatever..i know who i am..and as for you, go live your life however you want..i can''t stopp you..

but one thing is for sure- i still love you..

haha..31st 2008:

went to church for coutndown..was supeer nervous abt giving testimony but thatnk God for helping me...

and thank God for his touch during the wworship that helped me to get out of my depressed mood..coz i know God is STILL in control

so well..haha..on an impulse, i wanted to stayover at Clarisa's hse..after 12 midnight..so i, janice went there and we had yummy yam cake..haha

then Franklin came to pick us up to go Amy's hse.. so we went there and played the night away-German bridge, Pictionary, Outburst...ahaha...yup it was fun..

and DUH! the gurls won the boys..LOL...

then we left at abt 6am to go home..and the bus was so empty..so i sat on the top, alone...

1st Jan 2009:

at night, we went swensens' at terminal 3 to finally use the vouchers we got frm church...the food was great but i was kinda bored...

2nd Jan 2009:

i woke up at 4am...cldnt sleep..so i took my bible to read...and i read quite a bit before i went back to sleep at 5am..

and this song came to me.i dunno if it was a dream or wat.

Jesus I am thirsty

Won't You come and fill me

Earthly things have left me dry

Only You can satisfy

All I want is more of You

All I wantis more of You

Nothing I desire Lord, but more of You

But more of You

its been such a long time that we sang this at church and it was such a wonder that it came to my memory out of the blue..

but it was exactly what I was feeling..

and so, i am in my final week of holidays..hah..aft that its back to sch- i am looking forward to being busy again..haha

* I've got this interest abt the end-time prophecies in the bible..at Jeremiah now..if only someone wld enlighten me..hmmm

2008-12-30T18:50:00.000+08:00

wow..neglect..haha..

'jjust write abt whats going on?' ..hhaa

if i did that, this would be a blank.

haha..coz nothings been going on..yep..lifes been boring..hehe...trying to prepare myself for the opening of sch-bleah! why do good things have to come to an end?! ahaha..

so let me just rattle..

or rather reflect on the year? hah....

ok..this years been tough. i cant really decide if its worse or better compared to the last,but still its been tough.

fitting in to a new sch, coping with the work, forming friendships, bla bla..usual teenager stuff...

if u asked me wat i like abt this year, was that i made alot of new and good frens...

and i think i have become a more open and flexible person with regards to my relationships with others...haha..i dunno if others can agree with me..

i have been MORE NAUGHTY this year i think...mischievous in that sense..ahaha...let myself go a little more..i think...actually, i have always been crazy..haha...laughing at wrong times for wrong reasons...

still, i AM AN ANGEL..:)hhee..

and this year, i gotta confess, i think I did run frm God for some time..because I think I was afraid that life for me would get tougher and not better..actually its lame la...i mean since when does life get easier?

but God's still been faithfl..and I really dunno wat I wld do without Him..i mean i had such a close scrape to getting retained..oh God, that was SOOOO scary..

and i am glad i have come to terms with my issue on security and realised that the only security in my life is God...not the love i get frm others, not my friendships, not my beauty, not my intelligence, and watever else..but very simply GOD..

and abt next year?

hahah..i started worrying but thats so stupid so i shall just deal with stuff wen it comes..

and i think i wanna be more active next year..not just physically..but i wanna do new stuff..bake, cook, play, sew?, AND DRIVE!!!!and i am gonna have all the time in the world after my A's!

yup..but until then i gotta slog for that and oNe thing i promise myself to do next year is to give my best in EVERYTHING i do...no more lazy, non-standard jobs...

so everyone wish me all the best! haha..

and in advance,

HAPPY NEW YEAR! LUV U PPLE! GOD BLESS!

2008-12-22T13:49:00.000+08:00

i realised my blog was too dead..haha..
so this is a desperate attempt to revive it..
my life's been going to church for practices of late..yep..
and saturday was super duper fun--actually a romance filled day!aahah
first derek and huimin's wedding:CONGRATS!
hahha..it was SO perfect..and wow, huimin looked beautiful..haha...i am sure every single gurl there was wishing her wedding wld be that perfect..like some fairytale come true..
after that i, janice went to clarisas hse where we fooled arnd with lucas' drum set a little..then we went to watch...

*SHRIEKS*

ABSOLUTE HOTNESS!

aaaaahhhhh!!! so sweet!!!!!!

they look so sweet and innocent here..and oh, the way he looks at her! ahaha

innocent? NO..BUT YES, QUITE HOT..HAAHAH

*SHRIEKS* 'so hot! that look is such a killer!'

okies, thats enuf...haha..the movie was sweet and all..and i thought the gurl looked more striking thatn the guy..but they make a nice pair-he is bigger and strong, while shes sweet and petite...

the guy didnt act as well though...haha..i thought Kristen Stewart conveyed her emotions more naturally..hahah

and it was funny how their romance started coz after smelling bella, Edward was covering his nose! haha..HILARIOUS!

and after all that frenzy, i have one question..

WHERE IS MY EDWARD CULLEN?! hhahahahaha.....

2008-12-07T23:02:00.000+08:00

so much to update..

on fri, met vysh, ayidah and amirah..

went to amirah's hse where we pigged out(i did anyway) and we wanched a horror movie..hahah..

and i was clutching onto amirah throughout..lol..until my hand was almost numb..

so after that, we left and i wen to St. Andrews Cathedral for the meeting.

next day was just so tiring..i really wonder how i made it..

went for bread distribution in the morning-which really made me feel very good..haha..being able to bless pple in need. and haha...i also managed to convince an indian lady who didnt want to take the bread by talking in tamil..

but the bread refused to finish!!!so in the end we just chased after any person we saw to give them a loaf of bread..haha

after that, we went to the gym...FINALLY! and stupid me didnt vheck the temsion in the stationary cycle there..so i was wondering how it was so easy for claris! after like 30mins, then i realised that she was doing it at 0 tension, while i was doing it at 4!!!

so anyways, i was glad i fianlly did sumthing and then we went to have our lunch..

so i rushed home, had a QUICK shower and ran back to church for practice.after that went over to aunt's hse..

its an understatemtn if i say the atmosephere was havoc..lol...all the cousins were together, eating and talking..

there was an imprompto magic show..haha...not bad, not bad..

and then we decided to play 'heart attack' and by the time i explained the game to the adults+kids who can NEVER keep quiet, i wanted to pull out my hair...lol

but 10 pple played and u can imagine the chaos when we all rushed to place our hands at the bottom of the pile..haha...

then we played 'taboo' which didnt recieve that great a response prob because it was too intellectual for the guys..oops!

so at abt 1 sumthing, we watched the thai horror flick SHUTTER!
and i was in the middle of two nepehws..to my right, the boy kept on screaming and giving me heart attacks..and so even if i wasnt scared but the movie, i had one horror next to me..LOL

then the other side refused to keep quiet and watch..anyways, i was kinda hiding behind the pillow too!LOL

slept only at 3.30am and kept on waking up inbetween. had to wake up at 6.30 to come church where i toook the worng bus and panicked and sumhow od kickstarted my brians in the morning and i managed to take another bus...

was SOSOSOSOSOSOS sleep..sorry..the message was good but i was EXHAUSTED!

so came back home and had a nap..woke up at abt 5pm.hadnt eaten anything since 12 midnight...

thne later, went with amma to Novena Square to collect my NEW SPECTACLES! thank you Lord! AAHAH...AT LAST!

and ythen i bought a belt, a t-shirt and i also finally got a hoodie!!! s on the wole, thank you so much Jesus!
HAHA

lol...there are still so many problems but I just wanna thank God for the small pleasures I get....yup..everything i have gone thru makes me appreciate everything i have..

and i shall keep on praying till that miracle happens

2008-12-02T23:19:00.000+08:00

didnt feel like blogging actually...haha..but i am..

today:

3 words:

hurt, hurt and hurt..

thats been my daily schedule actually-getting hurt and crying..its like i am being pinned frm all quarters and i have nowhere to turn..
the devils definitely working overtime to make me feel like shit..LOL...coz i know God is gonna bless ME!!!!!!!!!:)

SO with God's help, i am trying tO pick myself up and do something worthwhile.haha..HOPEFULLY..

i just dun feel like saying anything else...

2008-11-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

God is good all the time

You put a song of praise in this heart of mine

God is good all the time

Through the darkest night, His light will shine

God is good, God is good, all the time

If you're walking throught the valley

And there are shadows all around

Do not fear

He will guide you

He will keep you safe and sound

Coz he has promised to never leave you nor forsake you

And his word is true

We were sinners so unworthy

Still for us He chose to die

Filled us woth His Holy Spirit

Now we can stand and testify

That His love is everlasting

And His mercies they will never end

Though I may not understand

All the plans you have for me

My life is in Your hands

And through the eyes of faith

I can clearly see

2008-11-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

class chalet yest! .....haha...

yep..it was fun- good food, great company!

and the best part was when vysh made a surprise and grand entrance!
with her whole new intellectual look...haha..see vysh u have got us all talking now..LOL

so we left together and haha...we were camwhoring in the mrt,which is a good place to take photos coz of the light..haha

and i felt so shagged after the crazy stuff we did...haha...

and today just sucks..LOL...i am super bored!!!!!!!

2008-11-22T12:09:00.000+08:00

gdness..i cant believe i picked this skin...haha..

after all i am not a chappati person..

yes..i am officially going crazy..

oh wait, havent i always been that way?

2008-11-22T11:37:00.000+08:00

i decided to blog..

for those who know me well shd know becoz i am feeling emo..haha..

WHY?

coz i dun have a life!

was just reading blogs and its like everyones having lots of fun and it kinda seems like all my frens have moved on without me and its not sumthing i can blame then abt...

but seriously lately its been like my life dusnt really belong to me....as in it revolves arnd others, accomodating my family...

and theres so many things i NEED but i cant get them...

and there are things i have always WANTED....but i give up...

somehow it seems like life has never given me what i have really wanted...

but for all i have gone thru, it only seems to get worse...and i cant really say it out coz its personal and so i stifle everything up and try to remain cheerful as usual...but it aint easy when i have so many questions inside me and they eat me up...

Sorry God, but i am a human being after all...how many disappointments can i face?

Is it my life or is it just me being an ass? I dont understand why I am allowing all this to get to me...but...errr....its not something that i consciously do...

its like NOTHING falls into place for me while some pple seem to have it all!

mann! Life is GROSSLY unfair....

2008-11-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

O..k...how long has it been since I blogged? haha..break record sia...

so this is just to let u guys know i aint dead...hahhaa...lol..*sighs* LAME!

so recently my lifes been shuffling in and out of my aunts hse and so at last tmrw i will be going out for a movie with my carecell to watch MADASGACAR 2! hahahah

for the fact i didnt even catch the 1st movie..haha..who cares anyway..
:P

so i think the outing is gonna get me prepped up for organising outings more with my frens..yeah...SHOPPING!!!!!!

class chalet on sunday..haha..FINALLY! WHOOTS!

then theres practices at church and at sch...gonna start soon...hmmm....

then must study liao..yes....i dun want to make the same mistake twice...

but i really chersih the time i have spending with my cuzzins lately..haha..even though one of them scares us with his paranormal experiences..hahah

gdness.thats another long story..

2008-11-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

Gosh! Its been a nightmare....

The past few days going to and fro frm the hospital...

For those who didnt know, my bro had a fall that was so bad his cheekbones got crushed, nose fractured and jaw dislocated....

And its really been the strength of God pulling us thru all this..Just wanna thank everyone for their prayers and their support.. Its really what we need now..And thanks to the many who visited him..

The operation's tmrw at 2pm...

So I am gonna be MIA for some time...sorry pple!

YVONNE'S BACK!!!!!

2008-11-03T19:56:00.001+08:00

haha..yes i m back!

and was plunged into PW presentation immediately! mann! he asked me a diff qn la! LOL...but i was glad i didnt fidget or move arnd..was like super grounded..LITERALLY..HAHA..AND ACTED CONFIDENT...

ok..so the trip to msia was ok..lol....

DAY 1:
the journey took really long and the bus kept on stalling..and i prayed really hard before the jouney and thank God we broke down just wen we reached the HOTEL!!!yeah...everyone was like super relieved...coz the hotel was on a hill...and if it had broken down at the bottom or halfway, i dont know wat we wld have done with some of the older folks with leg problems la!
and not to mention the grumpiness and bad tempers..haha..seriously..and the restless kids..only 2 but enuf to tear ur hair out...and the driver was annoyed coz of some payment arrangemtns..but that wasnt our fault la! ANGRY PERSON!

waITed for the rooms and they didnt even have a sitting area! but the hotel was quite nice actually with regards to the rooms but the service sucked bigtime...

Vilash akka came after registering and then we congratulated her..went lunch after that....

came back to the hotel and i fell asleep..was feeling ultra sick!

took panadol and after that we went for dinner...that was quite fun coz we ate by ordering Lots of stuff and sharing like a mini buffet...

and then we wanted to shp a little..but the shops close at 10pm..and we only had half an hour..so we just walked arnd la..

after that, returned to hotel and i showered...then went to punethat akka's room(my cousin) to prepare the souveniors for the engagement..the bags were so small and we were like complaining and complaining abt stuffifng the jewel cases into them...3 of my other cousins and my mum..i was super high coz i was tired and so was laughing non-stop..super funny...coz we were grumbling so much! haha..

slept at like 12 sumthing...

DAY 2:
next day woke arnd 7! mann! my body clock dusnt allow me to sleep alot in the morning and neither did my parents...

showered and went down for buffet breakfast which was O..K...haha..something is netter thatn nothing..and as alwayas with my parents, we wre ike one of the first to be down..the guys were the least coz my bro and some of the cusins went to KL the night before! like 1 hour away hahah..went clubbing i guess...and then came back at abt 5am..
gdness....

sp we were supposed to go shopping at 9 or 10 i think..and the bus kept on stalling on the way again! cldnt go shoppping in the end..had to picked up byt the other family and transported in smalll grps to the engagemnt venue...

that area was super small la!!!!! ohmy! and SO HOT!

then a replacement bus came and we went to shopping centre to get our hair done..

hahha...my hair was ultra thick and i curled it so it looked quite nice...hahha...yeap...then since i finished earlier coz i was the 2nd, i went to eat a sandwich at delifrance

then met back and returned to the hotel..showered and the painted my nails..then wore my ghagra and ran to santhi akkas room to get my makeup done..wow foundation does wonders...hahah..i didnt have pimples animore!!lol...then ran back but realized that my lipstick was kinda dark so i wiped it off and put my pink lip gloss..haha...

mum was alrdy done with her make up and WOW...she lookes super pretty la!!!!!ahahah....really..among ALL my relatives, by far she was the prettiest...

haha...appa looked cute in his jubbah...i wore my earrings and the choker and the earrings were like super heavy!!!!!
then we all left at abt 5.30 instead of 5pm. and then we reached the hse and there was nobody went it was supposed to start exactly at 6.15pm..and we were told to leave our shoes in the bus and the walking on the road was so horrid! gosh....we went inside and i and durga akka camwhored for a while..haha...

my nephews were ultra sweet coz they were staring at me and telling me i looked pretty..hahha....

after that, i and her were suddenly summoned to be at the entrance..yup to welcome the visitors..

but mann! our family was pissed with the bride's father's side...they were such egoists la!and i felt like slapping one of the gurls there coz they ignored my cousins when she stayed in their house! talk abt courtesy la...gdness

so after the engagemt which we didnt see coz of the crowd, the Deejay there called for a bachelor and we all saboed my brother..super handsum and quick-witted mah...ahahah...

the Deejay gave him the stupidest situation which i shall not waste time talking abt....felt like strangling the guy! then after that he asked my bro to start the dance floor..gdness and thats wen everyone went crazy!!!!

he called my cusins one by one and all started dancing..then slowly the other side started joining in...i joined durga akka and 2 old ladies were also dancing..super hilarious and cute!!

we danced ..i also dunno wat i was doing..hahah...my brother was pouring sweat..and my two gu cusins were like doing funny stuff.then a hindi song came on and then my bro was super enthu and i recgonized the tune..haha..and then at one part all the guys raised their voices and shouted....crazy! and we all ATTEMPTED to do our own versions of bhangra...hhaa...then my cousin took of his shawl and swung it in the air la...lol...the bride and groom also danced and it was quite havoc la..hahah

we danced for of course 'nakka mukka' and my nephew, harien rocked the dancefloor mann!!! haha..so proud of him....and then his mum and my other cousin and her son who just jumps arnd also joined...and also the brother...

yeah mann! we had fun! lol...but we had to end coz the neighbours might complain...then i realized we danced for like 1/2 hr and it was good exercise!!!hahaha....

at the end, one of the malaysians was like' thank you so much for joining in the fun..we didnt know singaporeans could dance so well'

hahah...dont we do everything well? ego..hahah...but its just that we are low key and when we unleash ourselves, pple are shocked...

well we returned to the hotel and my bro and cousins went out again..i went to shower and went to santhi akkas room where my mum was..the adults were talking while i and 9-year-old harien fell asleep...hahah..was woken up arnd 1 and then returned to the room..

DAY 3:
parents woke up early again and i didnt want to but my dad was bugging me and their noise woke me up in the end! so they went first and then i joined them later...had bfast...went up and packed up and brought the stuff down..left the hotel arnd 11.30am..so we travelled to malacca during which everyone knocked out..haha...whhen we got down the bus for lunch, everyone looked like we just got out frm bed...shopped alittle before we found places in the restaurant to eat..the bunch of guys went to eat pizza....

boarded the bus and those who wanted to, shopped for abt 45 mins..i managed to buy a pair of red heels....

then we went to chendol area and i had durian chendol..and the other nephew, started crying thinking abt leaving all of us...hes 9..and i knew exactly how he felt la...cldnt stop crying..how sweet...

after that only the journey during which we played bluff and uno and we stopped at yong peng for 'dinner'...woke up at immigration which was packed but we cleared fast....

we reached abt 10 sumthing and we were so sad to separate though we were REALLY pissed with one of my uncles...

it didnt really end on a gd note though coz my brother was constatntly pestered to help with the luggage wen the driver was supposed to...and he said he felt like a porter...haiz...wat to do..lol...
must adjust la..

so anyways, its fianlly over and so is OP! ahahah...going out tmrw...yeah..and i gotta study too..yup...

gdness...LONG POST! HAHA.....

2008-10-27T22:26:00.001+08:00

hmmmm...hhaa..its almost been one week since I blogged..

so I first I wanna say HAPPY DEEPAVALI TO ALL THOSE CELEBRATING!!!!

haha..yup and although I dun celebrate, I did got to my aunts hse to binge on all the yummy cookies and get hongbaos..ahah...

more than anything, its just a time to gather together..and watch my bro bully my nephew..gosh!

one small kid and one BIG kid ya!

hahahah....everyones been so busy preparing for Vilash akka's engagement...abt wat to wear and stuff...so much FUSS is made! and my mum wonders why I am such a vainpot...DUH! haha..we've been brought up to always pay attention to our dressing and how we look!

but it can get kinda sick at times..and err...SUPERFICIAL?

hahah...i mean the guy at the shop where I tried the ghagra on said I wld look like aprincess in it and I might get errr....attention from the opposte gender?hahah..to put it that way..

o..k...i was like ' errr...'..coz really i dun think i want pple to pay attention to me coz of how i look..i mean its so lame! i mean everyone looks plain at times..and so if sumone likes a person in like sumthing really grand and made up but dusnt bother when the person's plain, hahah....SUPER LAME AND IMMATURE !!!!!!

gosh..and I really dun wanna be weighed that way...

the world places SO MUCH emphasis on appearance, and sometimes we get so caught up that we neglect our character..which is really impt!...

yeah....

hahaha....BUT i still gotta lose wight for my own health at least..haha...to be more active!

mann! i need a jogging partner desperately..anyone free?:)

2008-10-21T20:29:00.000+08:00

today was totally great!

ahaha....yup..happy bday to me! lol....

i got saw many messages and so many great gists too! thanks to everyone!:) You guys made my day...

and thank you so much God for bringing me thru 16 years of my life..I thank You for this additional year and I know You will bring me thru it too...

i thot of writing all the names of those who wished me but i feel lazy..haha..but you know who you are and thanks so much!!!

so i got many GREEN gifts today..haha...from Amirah, Ayidah and Vysh..and they asked RANDOM dudes to give me..gdness.so embarassing...haha

amma bought me a suit with pattiyala pants yest(if thats how u spell it)...and i went for a haircut today for a whooping $58..both of us were so shocked and i felt real bad...:P

Anna gave me a beautiful card with some cash...

got a chain with TWO hearts frm BOX, HOXY AND SARA...and a letter frm Sara..cho chweet ah...hahah

JEEVIKA, VITHIIYA, THENDRAL, AAMILAH AND RAJESH got me this lovely bag!!! haha..fell in love with it instantaneously!

other pple gave me hugs! and many wishes from others....

hehe..and now I feel tired..haha..thanks for all ur love pple..

gosh i feel loved..:)

2008-10-20T22:12:00.000+08:00

MY HEART'S SPLIT INTO TWO...

hhahaha...coz i sometimes i want things so badly, but i dun get them...and it seems SO unfair coz things seem to work out for others very well..

I know God knows the best for me but sumtimes being a human, it aint easy for me....

*sighs*....I thank God for everything He's done..
and although it hurts inside so bad I still wanna thank Him and praise Him....

and amirah, ayidah and vysh, i know this time is really tuff for u guys..and even for t_____ and v_____.

but i just wanna let u know that if u need to cry or complain to sumone, i will be there....
and although i cant assure u that things will turn out the way u want it, i can definitely assure yout that God knows wat Hes doing...

and this gurl knows how to give hugs:)

2008-10-18T11:48:00.000+08:00

JUST TO AMUSE MYSELF....

Pick your birth month→ Strike out anything that doesn’t apply to you→ Bold the five-ten that best apply to you→ Copy to your blog→ Tag 10 people from your friends list

MY BIRTHDAY'S IN OCTOBER!!!!!HEHE...AND I JUST GONNA BOLD WHATEVER THAT I CAN IDENTIFY OBVIOUSLY IN MYSELF...I SHALL ITALIC STUFF THAT DUNST APPLY TO ME...

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chestSexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic. Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fail. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

God knows wat He's doing...

2008-10-18T10:20:00.000+08:00

haha....thank you clarisa for ur lovely present! and more than anything it was the message in the card that touched my heart..:)))

haha..so anyways, things havent been that fantastic..haha..just seems to be getting worse..but in the midst of it, I thank God for giving me the strength to praise Him..

God deserves our praise :-
whether things are good or bad
even if we don't have the mood to
even when it seems like He's not there

yup..thats sumthing I realized....we shd praise God because HE IS GOD! haha..and I'm glad i did it..coz the moment I did, an undescribable peace came into my heart:)

I guess I am learning how to trust in God again..slow baby steps...i no longer want to take things in my own hand and think I can handle stuff on my own.... its really tiring and in the end, it only makes things worse...

and I know whatever God has for me in the future, its for the best..sometimes, we don't listen when God speaks to us through parents, Godly friends or others...so, God will teach us the hard way..its all up to us actually...

I think I am one of those stubborn egoistic ones who don't listen...and although the process that teaches me is painful, it is for my own good..hopefully, I will be able to skip the painful bit in the future by just listening... :))hehe....HOPEFULLY

2008-10-16T16:07:00.000+08:00

for the concerned pple, just want to let u know i got enough points to be promoted..but its othing to celebrate much abt...

since SOME PERSON spoilt it by nagging the moment i told her because i barely passed...

and so i cried

i cried so much my head hurts now...

and i cried for the 3 of you(you know who you are)...becoz i will miss u guys like crazy...
ad i also cried for my other frnes who are also hanging by the thread...
its amazing howone exam can change ur life...*sighs*

but i am still praying that God will do a miracle..

you 3 were nice enough to be my frens when i was alone and its thru u guys, the rest of my class got to know me..and so i am gonna pray very hard

and now i feel emo..i was 'ordered' to clear my table..i obviously aint in the mood to do anything but as if anybody cares abt how i feel.......

but more thatn all that sadness i just wanna thank God so much for pulling me through...yep, i wld have been dead if He didnt help me...

so for all students out there who are being retained, or dunno if they are, let me tell u i will be praying and that watever u do in the future, always give ur best for God even when it comes to academics....

2008-10-15T20:47:00.000+08:00

two words:ultimate exhaustion....

i was so so so tired that i was sleeping in the car! haha...and fell asleep in sch too....

anyways, today ayidah admitted what she had done..haha..it makes no difference anyway..

and I had to call and talk to someone I haven't to for a long time..and I cried..haha..in the canteen...but I've become so good at it nobody realised..haha

i missed them..and they were really good to me..but i didnt like the way they treated the ones i loved..so i distanced myself..

so anyways, i will be knowing my results tmrw..was telling that i will cry despite watever y results..too worried alrdy...but I trust God and I believe He will bring me thru watever it is..

so i am reading the lesson for this ekids sunday, when i see this portion in the shepherds path...

Trust is a basic human need. We need to know that we can trust others, and others need to
know they can trust us. Why is this so? Because God made us relational beings. When we trust
another, there is a sense of security in the relationship that God intended to mirror the security
we can have with him when we trust him. We can exchange our ideas, emotions, concerns,
thoughts, issues, and opinions without undue fear of rejection. Without trust, we are cautious in
relating, if we relate at all, because we are uncertain and fearful of being rejected or hurt. It hurts
to be deceived; it hurts our heart and damages relationships. God wants us to live with integrity
so when we testify to his love and forgiveness, our message is received as trustworthy – worthy
of consideration. Our integrity reflects his character.

O....K.. that is EXACTLY wat I've been thinking abt....gosh, God speakes to you in the most surprising ways...

and I've had issues abt trusting pple nowadays...but this speaks abt dealing wit that..Oh God, thank you so much..hahha

hmm..lets hope i will be this happy tmrw with gd news...

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in His word I put my hope.
Psalm 130v5.

2008-10-14T21:33:00.000+08:00

hmm...today was Amma's bday!

yep, it went well:)

but there was a funny episode today..yest, after editing the written report for pw, i saved it as a draft in my email coz Mrs Tan had my thumbdrive

clever e didnt send it to my mail..so wen i tried to open it in sch today, i cldnt..so hoxy asked me to call my mum and send to me..well the joke is my mum isnt that computer-savvy and she didnt know how to attach a file to send..

so i was teaching my mum how to sent the attachment over the phone in the library!!!!! haha...and becuase i was wearing retainers, i wasnt that clear and had to repeat everythng a few times..gosh after a long time, my mum finally learnt and succeeded in sending me the file...haha...and all the while, my grp members were having a laugh at my expense..haha..but i still love u grp! haha....

and my mum was glad she learnt sumthing..:)..so i guess i am a good teacher..haha

and i saw sumone today..haha.and all the old feelings came back

do u know how much it sucks when u cant really control ur feelings?! thats how i feel now..my brain tells me my feelings are illogical but i cant stop my heart...

haha..and u know u are gonna get hurt, but even then my heart dusnt want to give in..haha...and so my frens, thats how i end up gushing..

really sorry for my involuntary screams and other expressions that may seem a nuisance to your ears..but u guys obviously do not know how i feel...i am at a stage where i am still struggling to identify and classify how i feel...

so, i hope at least in the near future, that i spare others from my gushings..haha

until then, pls bear with me ok..haha..pls...*sighs*..i want a new heart..hahah

2008-10-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

haha..feel a lot better after talking to my besties:) thanks guys...

so its not just me, many jc students are going thru this lonely syndrome..gosh..

and wen i was talking to vaishh, she said that the feeling sucks...haha...exactly wat i said..

thats why we are best frens!:)

yups, i def miss the times in cedar, esp beingg absolutely careless abt appearance..cant really afford that in jc..haha

so anyways to all my frens out there who feel lonely, just wanna let u know that i am a call away..haha..and the one fren that u can ALWAYS rely on is Jesus!

so anyways, ii felt like conjuring up this wish list..here goes:-

1) new pair of spectacles
2) contact lenses
3) new heels..haha..can never get enough of shoes
4) new sports shoes for sch: all star?
5) new school bag!
6) a tote bag that isnt auntie or childish
7) a sports watch
8) a new and trendier haircut!
9) a nice time with all my besties
10) a nice holiday with my family:))

haha...thats why its called a 'wish-list'...coz i might never get it...its ok..

2008-10-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

hmmm....i feel lonely...

i dunno where my frens are and if they care anymore..feelings do change....

gosh! that lonely feeling sucks la..hhaha...

today got pissed in sch coz i felt i was ignored..sorry guys, but i really felt that way and i am not a person who can hide her feelings..and its SO emabarssing wen u say sumthing, but u dun get heard, u just get ignored...and other pple prob think u are talking to urself..G-R-E-A-T!

anyways, today went to collect my ghagra or watever that was supposed to turn out that way..hhaha...it turned out not bad..i mean i didnt look as huge as I usually would..haha..

yup, so me and amma walked thru serangoon rd and saw LOTS of pple shopping! haha...and i saw lots of CUTE BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha...and i was like telling my mum that this baby was cute and that baby was cute and she was like which baby is not cute for u la..haha...:)

i love babies!!!!!esp ones with BIG ADORABLE eyes:)

hehe..and I do have a thing for big eyes..haha...errr..not just subjected to babies ah..hehe..can be for other pple also..heheheh

yep..so doing pw now..looks like my life has been confined to pw of late...

AMMA'S BDAY IS TMRW! haha...yup my wonderful amma...luv u ma! and i will always appreciate the numerous sacrifices u have made!:)

and i just really hope things take a more cheerful turn for my personal life..my current prayer is to ask God for the ability to enjoy life no matter how miserable...

contradictory, but its possible..after all Jesus never moaned over the fact that he was gonna be crucified..he kept on living life..

:)

my motivation is that glorious face i will see in heaven:)

2008-10-11T18:40:00.000+08:00

ok..its a fact..i kinda blog wen i am depressed..haha

yup, so u know this entry's not gonna be too cheery either..haha..

today, i was supposed to go out in the evening to Serangoon Rd...but the plan was postponed..

i got kinda pissed but kept quiet until my mother said something abt it which triggered me...
i also said wat i thot(we werent arguing)..but my mum took wat i said personally and started reprimanding me..coz according to her i was wrong..and she didnt wanna talk to me..

ok ok fine, i am wrong! i am always wrong..somehow or another...but wasnt wat i said true?

then i get picked on at home...seriously, that sucks...
i try to be happy but pple love to do things that make me feel miserable...just because u feel miserable, u dun have to do that to others as well u know...

i am officially pissed! Oh God, anything to cheer me up pls..

I am so sorry abt me and my mouth..I am just a very opinionated perosn..and I dun think age or relation is an excuse for pple to do watever they want..but the point is nobodys gonna bother and I shd just learn to stop bothering abt that...

So wat if I remain fat? Get over it!

2008-10-09T21:49:00.000+08:00

haha..i just cried...

dunno why..sumthing that sumbody said triggered and the tap opened...haha

my mum says its because i am tired...thats probably true..cuz she knows me best.....and sumone else also said that they felt like crying too..

but....a person can ask abt SO many things-studies, health,

but No!..they have to ask abt my weight...

seriously, does my weight define who I am? is the first thing u think wen u see me is that I am fat?

and pple wonder I keep on calling myself fat..haha...do u know its such a horrible nightmare ur life can become just because you are fat!?

pple label u, they make fun-even those who are supposed to love u...

its just so horrible! and sumtimes i feel like slapping myself for not losing weight at a younger age.....:(

i really really dunno wat to say....at least, in heaven i wont have to go thru this..

i mean wont u accept me if i dun lose weight? will i become ugly to u?

I JUST WANNA TELL ALL THOSE WHO LOOK DOWN ON THE BIGGER-SIZED:

We are all humans..NOBODY has the right to look down onsumone else...u might not like the person but that dusnt give u the rite to say watever u want..fat pple also have emotions.

this isnt the first time..i have heard pple say they hate me coz i am fat...haha..that is SO JUVENILE AND LAME!

u know wat, if I am fat so wat?

its NONE of ur business...I dont need you to give me any recgonition..God is the only one who can judge me....

those who really know me know that just BEYOND being fat, i am many other things.

and only time can tell if things can change...u cant guarantee that u will stay the same forever..i mean what kind of person places value and trust on their physical outward appearance?

GOD LOVES ME...AND IF U DUN WANT TO LOVE ME, HE WILL BRING OTHERS TO LOVE ME...I TRUST FULLY IN HIM

its SO hard..but i know He will bring me through and make me a stronger person..He will build my confidence not based on how I look at myself or how others look at me but how He looks at me....

SO, BUZZ OFF!

Just a breather....

2008-10-07T20:29:00.000+08:00

1.The person who tag/pass you is? Amirah
2. Your relationship with him/her is? A very good friend
3. Your five impressions of him/her? Highly non-discreet, sweet, easily amused, pretty, great singer!
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you? Hmm...lol...i dunno...oops!
5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you? This aint pertaining to me..but..''He's s cute!''-cant forget it coz she always says it!!!!!!
6. If he/she becomes your lover you will? heheheh...i aint thinking of becuming lesbian..hahah..but if i were a guy, i wld be quite proud to be seen with her..hahaha
7. If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be? stop saying she dusnt like this and that smell wen i am eating..and also stop smelling other guys! hahahah
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will? I really try not to have enemies..hahah...ignore her i guess...
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be? She betrayed my trust or lied to me.
10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is? Erase the fact that she EVER met a certain fox.
11. Your overall impression of him/her is? Talented.
12. How you think people around you will feel about you? Random and unpredictable....
13. The characteristics you love of yourself are? My ability to rebound from hurts and give pple a second chance.
14. The most ideal person you want to be is? Moi..hhaa...there can never be another Yvonne Suvitha Selvadurai aka sumi aka peach
15. For people that care and like you, say something to them? haha..tell me if u do k..seriously..so that i can appreciate u pple...and i luv u too! really really from the bottom of my heart...:)
16. Pass this quiz to 10 persons.
Hmmm....
1)Vaishnavi Mohanasundram
2)Vithiiya G
3) Rajesh
4) Jeevika
5) Vathany
6)Clarisa
7)Shirlyn Toh
8)Thendral
9) Haslina
10) HEHEHEHE...DUN KILL ME FOR THIS-MOUNTAIN! HAHAHA

17. Who is no. 6 having relationship with? hehe..she aint attached..but i am actually surprised cuz shes super sweet!
18. Is no.9 a male or female? Female
19. If number 7. and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? NO! I will probably kill no.7..hahah
20. What is no.2 studying about? errr....shes studying herself i think..hahha....
21. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? just 5 mins ago..hahah
22. What kind of music band does no. 8 like? DAPPANGKUTHU! hahha...i dunno la...anjac one maybe...hehe..GOYANG GOYANG?
23. Does no.1 have any siblings? Yep. A younger brother studying in VS.
24. Will you woo no.3? EWWW!!!!!NO!! no offence...but hes a brother to me!
25. How about number 7? Great! I declare that I am not a lesbian and I do not plan to woo females....actually, i just aint the wooing type ..haha
26. Is no. 4 single? Yep. She is.
27. What is the surname of no.5? Raveentharan(may have spelt it wrongly)
28. What's the hobby of no.10? hehe..gosh..i really dunno..listening to music and dancing i guess...
29. Does no.5 and 9 get along well? Yep yep. Very well.haah
30. Where is no.2 studying at? Anderson JC
31. Talk something casually about no.1? Shes not just a regular fren...Shes sumone difficult to get to know but once you have, you won't want to lose her:)
32. Have you tried developing feelings for no.6? NO! I repeat again! I DO NOT have lesbian tendencies
33. Where does no.9 live at? Toa Payoh
34. What colour does no.4 like? wait, i ask her...BLACK!
35. Are no.5 and 1 best friends? Nopes..not best..but they do know each other...
36. Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? hehe...sorry but no...shes got other good stuff abt her:)
37. What is no.6 doing now? i dunno..shes usually online..

A crazy weekend

2008-10-05T20:46:00.000+08:00

hmm..okay...just abt Friday...

i am a dumdum..i was telling myself that bowling is the least strenous..haha

WAT A MISCONCEPTION!

lifting heavy balls is far from easy..and swinging them with sufficient power requires more than just the effort of your hands...

haha..anyways, i kinda suck at bowling..haha...

i cld slide my foot...but i would lose the rythm and my bowling would just push the ball to the gutter..so sad..

i was doing ok..then dunno wat happened..haha..

but it was hilarious because we were motivating each other by shouting out certain...err...names of special pple..haha..

and Amirah was asked to join the school bowling team..wow...somebodys got talent eh...*winks*

so i returned to sch with my left leg hurting so much...my muscels were really aching..Amma picked me up and we went to church..haa..i looked more dumpy than usual that day...

went to sleep at night with aches ad pains all over...

next day, Saturday:

went to church at abt 11 to prepare for Sunday..I ended up pasting and cutting all the scorecards, station labels, and the different cards..talk abt HARD WORK!

haha...after that went 7-eleven with Clarisa for a little while and returned to church for dance practice..

haha...we did some diffrent exercises..but thats wats great abt drama- doing stuff out of the norm..

then went to serangoon mrt station with Janice and there Aunty Catherine picked me up with Amma..we headed to Aunty Gek's hse...

ate alot..had some wonderful chocolate cake..and then played arnd a little with the kids..i learnt a new game!

went home tired and sweaty..Anna picked up Appa frm the bus station and Appa was glad to see me..:) ahah..it was sweet.. and Amma was like 'Waaah,...never see for so long ah..only for a few days wat.'

Wat can I say.. Appa loves me:)

And today, somebody said Anna really loves me lots:)

and I am sure Amma loves me too...:)

I love you pple too! Aww...I feel so lovey now..I wanna give hugs! haha...

Will u be lucky enough to get one frm me?*winks*

''You are special''

2008-10-05T20:24:00.000+08:00

today was tiring! lol....but quite fun..

served for both services for ekids today for the special childens' day program..

and all the teachers were surprisingly super high for the 2nd service praise although we didnt even eat! haha.....jumping arnd like beans...haha....*boing boing*

and we watched the 'You are Special' video...and God spoke to me through that...and i cldnt stop the tears from welling up in my eyes.

just yest, sumbody i love very much said sumthing abt me that broke my heart..and i really wished i wasnt like how i was..that i cld be like others...

and that was kinda how that wooden Ponchinello character in the video was...he had been marred by the many negative opinions of others...

but his maker, the wood craftsman Eli loved him because he was His.

and I knew and knew in my heart that God was telling me the same thing.
It will take time but I think God's just calling me back to Him..its been some time since I've really spent time in His presence alone..I don't exactly know why..but I opened the bible on Friday and the pages fell to the passage about the Samaritan woman..

In that story, Jesus tells the Samaritan woman:

''Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I will give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.''

And today in the 5pm service, there was a word to loook for the source of the river-Jesus.

I am soooo thankful to God that Hes spoken to me..and lately I've just gotten too caught up with TOO much stuff arnd me...I've let my eyes shift from God...and I've allowed the things others say matter TOO much to me.. but like the song in the cartoon today:

''Nobody can be who you are''

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JESUS!!!AND I KNOW U LOVE ME TOO:))

a new headache

2008-10-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

oh mann!

just when u think u wanna take a break the next ordeal is here...PROJECT WORK!

*sighs* and today they scared me with the introduction to oral presentaion..i mean presenting infront of wierd unknown pple really sounds intimidating to me!

but..haha..God has broought me thru lots..and this is really nothing in comparison..

so currently, I am just trying my best to stay focused and invest my energy carefully in pw..haha....

tmrw we are going bowling! we:08S11

haha...so fun! yeps..but i cant make it for the dinner afterwards since i will be hving church..haha

and i think i am reallly really exhausted at the moment..no idea why..

oh! todays workshop was incredibly fun! with the board game..and it was SO scary coz our proposed journey was highly similar!!!!

but we did get lots of ideas(i think) and now its probbaly gonna be easier for us to create the game..

talk abt effort!

*yawns*

its a holiday...

2008-10-01T20:33:00.000+08:00

hhaa..today was ministry appreciation day- went to church in the morning, had lunch there..got $20 x 3 swensens vouchers! ahha...prob gonna use it for amma's and my bday thats cuming up.(no, that wasn't a hint..haha)

after that, went periyammas hse(eldest aunty)..yup..i slept on the sofa there with my head on the arm rest and because of that my waist hurt with the bending..haha

anna came to pick us up after that...hes been really sweet driving us arnd and all since appa left for malaysia yest..
and yes, i miss appa...i get irritated wen hes arnd but,..lol..i really do miss him lots wen hes not there...

bought dinner, came back home..ate dinner and here i am!

hhaah...felt emo in the afternoon actually..thats wat happens wen i am bored..kept messaging pple to entertain myself..haha

tmrs back to sch..i kinda dun mind..yea..coz i am a person who shdnt be idle..haha...yup, so back to slogging for project work!

its kind of gruelling but i dun mind coz i've got a hardworking and nice grp..:)

oh! and to amirah and ayidah and all other muslim peeps there- SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

hahha..have fun eating and visiting..lol...SO FUN!

An official chocolate high!

2008-09-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

hahah..yes! yes yes! ITS OVER!!!! and to celebrate Yvonne goes for chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok..wats over? exams la..lol...yeah! and i went out after that..had so much fun talking and catching up on gossip..lol

so conclusively,

1)thendral's an anjac

2) vithiiya's become quite naughty

haha..and MOI(happy amirah?): INNOCENT AND SWEET AS USUAL...HAAHAH...

haha..ChOCOLATE CUPCAKE!

found this pic and cldnt resist adding it..haha

label: HOT chocolate cupcakes...I AM SURE EVERYONE AGREeS...*winks*

so choclate makes me high...haha...i was not feeling good but after chocolate i went high! lol...and started talking funnily..haha....rubbish in other words..rubbish that makes pple laugh..

so anyways..i wanna go out...but hhaa..there are party poopers arnd! hmph!

aaaah...watever..i feel lazy..i cant think...and i am sweating like a pig...

CHOCOLATE PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BRAIN DRAIN

2008-09-26T14:16:00.001+08:00

BLEARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

JIFNJUWEDRUIRENOGV9EPq90jiofqioehnwiurehdfgyugCBCEWJIBCKWA;LCWEUIPCEBUICEWCWAPHGRYUGV

THIS IS WHAT U GET WHEN U PUT A GURL THRU 2.5 HRS OF MINd-CRACCKING CHEMISTRY AND 3 HRS OF MATHS.

nope, that aint profanities but u just get a whole lot of gibberish....and probably sullen face...and a bit of silence after that..haha...

oh gosh..i dun even want to talk abt chem yest..yeah, u want to know..it makes me CRY! i hate it! I tried to study but i cldnt remember a thing!

Oh God, this is SO hard..haha...pls do a miracle..haha..help me pass! i did study!

sighs..and now i have to study for bio before i fail BOTH my sciences..and then how is this gurl supposed to get into the medical line? haha...

okok..watever...i shall just leave it to God..i dun think I have ever worried this much before..dun wanna cultivate the habit now either..haha

so, anyways, I just got a message saying that I am a cast member for this year's CHRISTMAS PRODUCTION! I am supposed to be happy rite? WHOOOHOOOO!

LOL....yes yes..really, i guess i am..coz that way i have a reason to invite my frenns to come see..coz wen i called one of them, she was like why shd i come unless u are performing..

haa..so yes VYSHOO! i am performing...so u better come and watch..

oh mann! that tagboard is SO annoying....urgh...
i better go toggle with it..*sighs*

Life.....as we see it

2008-09-19T22:53:00.000+08:00

actually, i dun feel like blogging..

just really really tired..haha...and worried abt promos..yeap

but theres singing auditions tmrw and wonderful mua hasnt practised one bit..GREAT!

hmm...but aniways, today we almost met with an acccident..haha..crossing that small road on the way to sch..and a woman who was speeding in a sch zone almost knocked into us....thank God she stopped in time.

after that, we forget abt the incident, but the woman get sout of the car to scold us saying how we as jc students ashd set an example for the others..hmm....

example in wat la? huh? CROSSING ROADS?

i laughed..but i was REALLY angry cuz i dunno know the woman and i didnt think she had a right to scold us..yea..i dun owe her a living and neither dus she owe me one..i mean no offence..but, she was also in the wrong..

after wen we walked i was just ranting cuz i was really really pissed...hahha...actually more thatn ranting..lol...

but after sch, on the way home, i just thot how i cld have died this morning..i mean its highly possible rite..haah..

and i felt bad abt how i reacted..coz if she didnt see and stop in time, i dunno where i wld be now..yea..and I thanked God for keeping me alive and well..

i mean in the very least, i may have gotten injusred..and how will i be able to do my exams next wk then?..hmmm

yeaps, so this is to the woman:
i am sorry we crossed the road like that..we were waiting for very long for pple to give us way, but everybody refused to..yea, so we happened to cross in front of ur car becoz we didnt see u cuming...
but i dun think thats a very nice way to put across ur point..because like u said we are jc students and we do deserve some form of respect..its not like we acted like that intentionally...
and U SHDNT BE SPEEDING IN A SCH ZONE! dumdum

u know wen we go thru the slightest problem, we tend to flippantly say that we wanna die?

but, wat if we really did? i mean has the value of life become that low?

we so often go without appreciating the fact that we are alive and wake up to spend another day with our family, frens, annoying teachers, supposed enemies in sch, etc.
but there have been SO MANY who havent had this priviledge..and wen its that way, shdnt we regard the life we have as a gift frm God?

and shdnt we concentrate on living it out the best way that honours and pleases God?

haha..even I as a Christian, often forget that our lives are not ours...

but its not.. and as long as we think that our life is ours and live it with that concept, life is not gonna be nice..ya, u may gain material wealth, popularity..bla bla..but will ther be a TRUE MEANING AND PURPOSE to ur life?

i thank God, coz i know my purpose:to honour Him with everything I do...

WOOHOO! ahhaah....so, i shdnt worry..haha..because my life isnt mine to worry abt!

hmm...conclusions for today:

1)self-reflection helps lots
2) pineapple is kinda sick..haha
3) the peach has got to learn to becum less angry and annoyed

:)

gosh...ultimate exhaustion...

2008-09-14T18:06:00.003+08:00

hmm..haa.. today was excitng ..lol...

sumone sat near us today during lunch break and i was trying my best to act normal...hahah....i repeat -TRYING..

haha...and that person is super concerned abt promos..haha..i never thot..judging frm that persons cool demeanour..haha....yes yes..i am FLOORED!

hahah...and sumbody found abt that sweet muffin...haha..i was shocked and quite scared..but i trust the person knows how to hold his tongue..yeah..haha

okok..besides that, we had an ultimate overload of Biology today...Gosh! It takes alot of effort to actually concentrate u know..i found myself drifting ever so often...

hmm....i feel ugly...haha...TOO MANY pimples have been popping out and i look worse than i usually do..haha...really..i think even if i dun think i am stressed my body begs to differ...

certain symptoms i have been experiencing of late:-
1) sleepless nights...kinda becuming nocturnal..
2) terrible pimple breakouts
3) eyes are feeling misplaced all the time..like i feel cock-eyed..haha...
4) stomachs feeling bloated even without eating-prob air..and my stomach never reacts like that usually...

hahah...yehs...God knows wats happening..but life has to go on rite?
So i shall just bear with my ugly self for this promtional period and press on..haha..thank God He dusnt care if i look ugly..haha

urgh! and this blogskin is boring me...its dull(my personal opinion)..and dusnt reflect me..haha...i wanna change it..but everytime sum problem arises..:(

anyways, i think caffeine makes me high..coz on Monday i was doing the STUPIDEST things in MACS with Amirah and Vyshooo..haha...seriously..gosh..i feel SO embarassed...i dun think anyone cld have thot i was THIS nuts.yeah...dancing to evry tune we hear..thinking of waving at total strangers..shaking my head incessantly...this is called ultimate INSANITY!

hahah....its ok...its therapeutic..if not i will just snap at my parents wen i get home... yups..so everyone, be prepared..there aint no Yvonne with no insanity...hahah

yeaps..so looking forward to post exam period and prettier days..ahah

gosh...ultimate exhaustion...

2008-09-14T18:06:00.002+08:00

snoopy!

2008-09-14T18:06:00.001+08:00

hmm...i did sum snooping..

and came up with sum conclusions abt mine...hahha....not to my favour of course..

but its ok...theres more to life..:) ...

its only the start, not the end...

no point being emo..hhaa.i DO NOT SUIT EMO...HAHAH..
there are no emo peaches arnd u know..hahaha

i wanna be forever rosy..haha...and its up to me! how i look on the life God has given me...

i wld say the video i saw changed my life on fri...
that guy was SO confident and clear-headed! and i can complain so much..

wat a spirit..i mean he head all the reason to feel unfairly treated and annoyed and miserable...
but gdness, i really really admire him..and i told God i wanna see him in heaven and tell him how much he's inspired me:)

yes..thers more to life than just me...and i think thats the secret to life of joy:)

the fear will disappear...

2008-09-14T18:06:00.000+08:00

hmmmm.....

i think i am an open book..

i mean lately everyones been talking abt how they dun reveal stuff...and i kinda think i aint like that..

i dunno la...but maybe its becoz i am really frank..haha..

and i trust pple too easily...and i tell stuff..but later i realise they arent wat they appear as..but its too late..and so i constantly suffer frm this insecurity that i will be betrayed...

and...my hearts been broken lots....haha....but i guess i am a rebounding peach..Thank God! hahaha....its difficult but life has to go on rite?

but now i am struggling..i wanna stop things that may happen...i dun wanna repeat mistakes and get hurt all over again..

sumthing i gave up on...but now theres a glimmer of possibility..but i am just SO scared to hope!
my heart tells me one thing but my brain another..

my brain tells me it aint possible....

haha...time will tell of course....but i am afraid that i will get carried away and get hurt...

nvm..God will help me..as long as i dun do anything stupid..ahaha...

Friday carecell was great!

I mean usually suffer frm panic attacks..+ i had to worship lead...but it was different..i wasnt nervous and i sorta genuinely left it to God promising to just do my best..haha..i got a 'Good job Yvonne'

and i think everyone understood the lesson well...yups..they were quite receptive..and we all had our share of fun and food..yeah..or rather they ate the food..lol...
and its so much easier coz theres pple to support u..m y grp members thanked me...and it was extremely encouraging!!!! i love you groupie!!!!(as zq calls it)
hahahaha.....

yups..so i slacked my weekend away..feel guilty..but i think i needed it..yups...hahaha
my frens, pls dun make me feel guilty k..haha...

:)

part 3

2008-09-11T18:32:00.002+08:00

haha..this is for amirah...STRAWBERRY AND BANANA!!!!!!!!!!!! lol.....perfect combination for cereal! hahah...yum!

PART 2

2008-09-11T18:32:00.001+08:00

Now for the complimenting fruits.....

hmm...the first thing that definitely stands out for this fruit is its HAIR!!!!..HAHAHA.....yeah....and that its highly unattractive...hahaha...OOPS!!!!

have you EVER found a STRAIGHT banana? haha...yes, this fruit is highly bent and TAPERED at both ends.......hahaha......

i found the THINNEST ones i cld...hahaha...yeah..i know carrots arent fruits, but yeah, they are SUPPOSED to compliment cherries..haha....red and orange?hmm.....

this fruit has a characteristic hairstyle...and it has an ego the height of its hair and EXTREMELY BEAUTY-CONSCIOUS..(EWWW!)..yeah...quite flamboyant actually...FOR A FACT, the peach cant really care to compliment this fruit..haha..don't u agree that the peach stands out on its own? the pineapple is just gonna TRY TO steal the limelight...haha..but actUAlly, is there anything attractive abt it? hahaha.....hmmm....

ok...enuf fooling arnd..haha....

so MORAL OF STORY: eat all ur fruits..all have their benefits....ahaha...and their own unique characteristics....

Fruits!

2008-09-11T18:32:00.000+08:00

hmmm...hahaha...i have a quick rebound...lol...emo yest..and high again today...hahaha...

THANK GOD LA...hahhaah....the joy of the Lord is my strength

okies..so acutally, yest we were taking abt fuits ..haha..no, not abt their benefits...pls...haha....we were talking abt wat fruit can symbolise which person..haha...

SO...(DRUMROLL PLS..) PRESENTING THE ANJAC FRUITS OF SAJC

haahah....enjoy! ;)

The voluptous pear....a humble but very practical fruit..hihgly dependable too.. a fruit that can be soft but can also be hard.....and so this is Ms SmITH!!!!!

Next, we have the luscious strawberry..sweet, pretty and highly feminine....definitely a star! And this is Ami-raaaahhhhh!!!

Haha..the cherry- small but highly eye-catching...so many pple clamour for this fruit, but you know, its too small that there's not enough to go around..haha...a VERY LOUD fruit! hahaha....so this is Ayidah Hani!!!!

I really dunnoo..hahaha..first an orange, then mango and now peach..hahaa....the peach is a rosy fruit and sweet and juicy..hahaha...so as quoted by Amirah:'Yvonne's so peachy!' yaya...very squishy also..hahaha...oh God....

pull me along pls..

2008-09-10T20:54:00.000+08:00

i had to blog..
coz i am stressed...

i laugh alot and dun show my stress much..but inside the pressure is really building..

and i am just scared my emotions will burst at the wrong time at the wrong pple....

and even then, nbody will understand..all pple will do is point a finger at me..like they have always done..

hey, i aint wonderwoman u know..and i cant be like others...

they havent been thru what I have....

and frankly, I am trying my best...but I am a human u know...

so cant u just give me a break?....

i feel choked..haha...hope i dun cry..life is hard.. i know that..

sumtimes it gets TOO hard....too much for a 17 year old student...

but I still trust in HIM!...and i know HE knows how much i can take...
Hes definitely stretching me..thats for sure...and there still lots for me to learn..

SUMTIMES i want to give up..coz i dun learn... my ego gets in the way...and i lose my regard for others..and yes, i feel bad....

BUT ITS SO HARD!

i feel sick of pple whom i care abt but who dun care abt me..it affects me u know... call me an emotional fool..watever...i am one...

TOO EMOTIONAL....and my hearts too open..so easy for pple to hurt..but i cant let it grow hard just because of that rite?

coz that means i wont listen to HIM either...

OH GOD, i am really sorry... i dun learn fast enuf..and i aint up to wat i am supposed to be..pls forgive me...and pls dun EVER give up on me....
i dun mean to be a bad gurl..sumtimes i just get a little angry....and i do feel ashamed after that...
i am too slow..too non-alert..too passive...too tired all the time...

but..i think YOU understand..if not U wldnt have called me by name, wld U?

2 Corinthians 12 v9: And He said to me, ''My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'' Therfore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

One thing i desire
One thing i seek
To gaze upon Your beauty
and Your majesty

God of my salvation
Lifter of my head
Teach me how to live, Oh Lord
In Your righteousness

So I pray to You
So I pray to You

Lord Your name is higher thatn the heavens
Lord Your name is higher thatn all created things
Higher than hopes
Higher than dreams
The name of the Lord

In the day of trouble
You cover me
In the secret place of refuge
Lord I will sing

So I pray to You
So I pray to You

Lord Your name is higher than the heavens
Lord Your name is higher than all created things
Higher than hopes
Higher than dreams
The name of the Lord

I will seek Your face
Call upon Your name Jesus
All I want is You
Jesus

haha.. i feel better:)

a quick note

2008-09-06T09:35:00.000+08:00

haha..ok..its the exam period..so this blogs gonna be aittle inactive for sum time..i hope so aniway..

its scary how everyone is mugging..lol..really..the only thing anyone talks abt is mugging..haha..

anyways, i was at lobby a in church yest and suddenly sarah shouts at me from the ther end and tells me to look whos here..

hahah...and i do and the next moment i am out of my chair walking towards the person..YES! ITS THOMAS! hahahah...

Thomas- my pre-teen sundayschool class teacher..haha..he was the guy teacher surrounded by 6 gurls...

and i rmb arguing with him ALOT..seriously..haha...calling him spastic and retarded and getting that back too... hahah..it was actually quite fun...

then he went abroad to study..and now he will be arnd until the 17th..hmmm...

he changed alot..and shirlyn very unwisely told him that he grew fatter..haha...i told him his voice broke..lol..what an insult to a 28 year old guy..haha..

okies...thats all...

for everyone whos studying, just rmb that u aint alone..hahah....everyone's crying..but we dun have a choice do we?

and my frens, we will get promoted..yeah..dun be so pessimistic..i think studies are the only thing u can control in life..haha..coz u determine its results..

SO MUG ON!

haha..its a 3rd post

2008-09-03T21:52:00.002+08:00

haha..yes yes..i know..3 posts in one day..lol...

i have alot to say u know..hahahaha...

i am addicted to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmFdw2EIGCw

haha..and NO! it isnt because of sumone..the song just has a really great beat to it!

i was listening to it and dancing to it in my head...haha..yes i can...lol....and i WASNT dancing with ANYONE! its so annoying wen pple think i am obsessed with sumone....

COZ ITS NOT TRUE!

i dun care..i just wanna study and get promoted and have fun with my frens and most imptly, please God!

so pls pls dun tease me animore..its disgusting...coz i aint intersted...

i aint like other gurls who want to depend on guys for support..that dusnt mean i dun want their support..but i think overdependence on them is just undermining ur own capabilities!

i wanna be an independent woman..i dun respect women who rely on their boyfrens to pay their bills or carry their handbags...

its because of these pple that men think they have the upper hand on women and go on breaking their hearts...

NO! women arent the weaker species..in fact we are mentally stronger...coz even after undergoing serious emotional letdowns, we find the strength to pick ourselves up and move on...
and we continue living for the pple who depend on us....

SO SHAME TO ALL MEN WHO THINK THEY ARE BETTER AND BREAK WOMENS' HEARTS!

wow...looks like i am a feminist at heart..lol...

Shopping!

2008-09-03T21:52:00.001+08:00

hmmm..on a lighter note:

today's shopping trip to johor!

lol...frankly..it wasnt too successful on my part..yeah..which is a record breaker..haa..coz i always end up buying the most stuff..

ahah..its understood rite? i am a growing gurl with growing needs! hahaha....

my dad bought a pair of shoes...yup after such a LONG time...i mean hes the oppsite of me...he dusnt buy stuff...hahah...

anyways, the taste in johor kinda sucks..haha...yeah....i went to terbrau city btw...yups..but theres nuthing much to shop there althought the place is quite big... I mean sum of the stuff is really exhorbitantly priced...hm...i aint so inconsiderate to burn a hole in my parents' pockets for the sake of fashion u know..hahah

but the mall i went to before that sold better stuff...i got a few pairs of pearl earrings there!! hahah..i shall flaunt them soon..maybe trmw! lol...

haha..other than that..this was aVERY unproductive shooping trip to JB! looking to a bigger shopping spree after promos! whoots!:)

A HIGHLY MISUNDERSTOOD GURL

2008-09-03T21:52:00.000+08:00

wow...great...

i feel pissed....coz of how misunderstood i have been this year..

with the new class, i was assumed as ANTISOCIAL..wen pple didnt even take the effort to get to know me or give me a chance to show who i really am...

and now i am being assumed to have sumthing agnst a certain grp of pple...

wen i didnt even talk to them or they to me..and how in the world can i get offended with them wen we dun have contact with each other?

firstly, i am not the sort of person to keep things against pple...i have becum besst frens with pple hu have bitched abt me and set up a hate club for me..yeah..so if i was the sorta person to hold stuff agnst pple, i think i wld be angry with alot of pple....

secondly, why do pple even make such assumptions nowadays?

u dun even know me but u assume that i am this way and that..

but all I have done is given u the benefit of doubt and thot u as a nice person even thought i dunt know u...

frankly, if i have sumthing agnst a person, i will prob tell that person unless i really am not interested in fostering any ties with the person...

I didnt cum to JC to hold stuff agnst pple.i came to study and make as many frens as possible...

yes..i feel sad that I've been misunderstood...

i dun have anything agnst u pple....i really dunno wat gave u that idea....

but watever it is, i hope u can put it away and just be normal....its better for both sides...

*sighs*
men: they assume things abt women and call them complicated wen its them who have wierd ideas and scrutinize everything a woman says and picture a different meaning for wat they say...

REALITY CHECK: women arent like men, lies dun cum naturally to us....

MY LIFE IS NOT ABT U...

2008-09-02T12:34:00.001+08:00

HEY ALL!

hahah...well, if u didnt know i recently deleted my blog coz of sum template problems that i had..yeah ...damn sad...but i managed to save the posts from the previous blog..yups...

haha...and blogger just totaly pissed me off becoz of the template problems that kept on cropping up..

anyaways, THANKS CLARISA! for all the help with the template..yups..i just thot i shd get a template that better suited my blog add..

hmm..anyways..this is me in the library...and actually i dun really know wat to blog on..haha...

just had a laughing session with A,V,A...haha...yes laughed really loudly and hard..
i got it frm my mum..yeah..cant help it..ITS ME!

anyways i wasnt listening t the lecturer in the cc today..ayidah was telling me stuff abt wat sum pple have said with regards to me..haha..and it totally set me off on an angry tangent..

WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE PPLE TO JUDGE ME?!

they dun owe me a living and neither do i owe them one....

u think u are so good but acutally i feel sad for u coz i only see pathethic, spoilt pple..who havent been brought up well enough to accept the different personalities...

i am just gonna show u wat i am capable of..u dun even know me...

haha..anyways, who cares..i have pple who luv me!!!!:)

thats all for now..i gotta go touch up on my blog template..:)

2008-08-31T22:56:00.001+08:00

HELLO.

Its been a year

2008-08-31T22:35:00.000+08:00

hhaa...i really think this year has flown by REALLY quickly..

i mean it just seemed like we did the ekids musical few months ago...but actually its almost one year ago!

and the next production is up...but this ones a collective production within the whole church..so i guess its gonna be really different..hahhaa...wonder wat i am gonna end up doing...
ANYWays, all my frens better keep ur schedules free so you'll can cum!:)

hmm..last years musical...brings memories..the practices....the way i had to embarass myself just to get into the role..but i think i succeeded...THANK GOD!

hahaha....

for ur viewing pleasure...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kYbSn_jl4A

guess who i am.....hahah....:)